Keeping Victoria's Secret Read Free

cop,
but then shut it again.
    “Hey Jack, if this was some sort of blind
date that went sour, well, just say so. We got this call. You
understand we have to see the girl and make sure everything’s all
right?”
    Frustrated, he sighed and ran fingers through
hair still wet and uncombed. “Yeah Vince, but she just showed up
here without any warning. Got into the house somehow and was at the
door when I got out of the shower. Never seen her before in my
life, I swear! She slipped and hit her head on the floor, but Doc
Sweeney will be here in a minute. Guess I kind of startled her.
Come on up and you can see for yourself.”
    The cop stared at him, one brow still raised
in question, or disbelief? Vince can't possibly think I'm guilty of
something, could he?
    “Jack, you stay down here, I’m going up and
talk to her. I’ve got the impression maybe she’s seen enough of you
already, if you understand me.” With that, the officer started up
the stairs, leaving him unsure what to do next. His decision was
quickly made for him.
    Footsteps sounded on the front porch and he
turned to see that the door still stood open and now there were
three startled faces looking at him. One was that of Vince’s
partner, one was that of Doc Sweeney, whom he was very glad to see.
The third person amused at the sight of his naked body was Doc’s
wife, Elvira.
    Horrified, he turned and ran limping back to
the kitchen searching for some scrap of cloth to cover himself. All
of his clothes were upstairs. Desperately, he opened kitchen
drawers looking for something, anything. Maybe there’s something in
the cellar? No time for that.
    Emerging from the kitchen, grimacing with
embarrassment, he sported a ruffled apron tied at the small of his
back, with a kitchen towel tucked in behind. He knew he must look
ridiculous, like a cross between Julia Child and an Iroquois
Indian.
    The cop stared, eyes growing wider as a
snicker slipped out. They were all trying hard not to laugh.
    “Excuse me folks,” he said shuffling upstairs
clutching the towel against his backside, hoping to hide his
nakedness from the three grinning people behind him.
    At the top of the stairs, he turned and
passing Vince, headed for his room at the end of the hall. The cop
barked out, “Jack!”
    He slowed, turned to Vince, and gestured
towards the door next to him. “She’s in there.”
    Holding up a hand, Vince motioned for him to
wait as he reached the door, but before he could knock, it swung
open.
    The girl was a sight as she swayed; holding
tightly to the doorjamb with one hand, in the other she clutched a
lamp like a drunk with a gin bottle. Her bun had slipped to one
side and clung like a small animal on the side of her head and her
clothes hung askew. Purple bruising spread on the side of her face
as her glazed eyes took in the police officer first, and then she
looked at the others waiting on the stairs. Turning, she studied
Jack curiously, and lowered her eyes to just below his waist,
blinking several times at his bazaar costume. Then she vomited.
     
     

Chapter 2
     
    Everyone took a step back to avoid the
splatter.
    Doc’s gray haired wife cleared her throat,
and making an effort not to smile, started downstairs. “I’ll just
wait in the car, dear. No, on second thought, I’ll go on home and
start dinner. Call if you need me. Good day gentlemen.” Nodding and
smiling she slipped past the others.
    Vince shook his head, still grinning. “Some
days, the darnedest things happen. And Jack, I’m not sure your new
outfit there is any improvement over the buck naked thing.”
    While Doc tended to a now thoroughly
embarrassed and confused Victoria Buonadies, Jack went to his
bedroom to get dressed. As he struggled to tuck in his shirt, Vince
was in the hallway, calling him.
    “Damn it Vince, hold on a minute. I’ll be
right with you.” He came out barefoot in jeans and work shirt.
“What do you want?”
    The cop still wore an amused grin. “Yup, like
you