Judy Moody, M.D. Read Free

and try NOT to make the buzzer go off.
    Dr. Judy performed a delicate operation and removed butterflies from the patient’s stomach. Next she removed his broken heart. Stink went for the charley horse.
Buzz!
“Hey, his nose lights up red,” he said. “Like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!”
    “You did that on purpose!”
    “Did not!” Stink tried to remove the pencil from the guy’s arm, to get rid of writer’s cramp.
Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!
    “Stink. Give me the tweezers. Your turn’s over when you buzz.”
    “Let’s play something else,” said Stink.
    “I know,” Judy said. “You can help me with my Human Body project for school.”
    “That’s not playing. That’s homework,” said Stink.
    “
Fun
homework,” said Judy. “I’m going to do an operation with real stitches and stuff.” Judy got out her doctor kit. “All I need is somebody to operate on.”
    “You’re not operating on me. Just so you know. No slings or eye patches or anything.”
    “Can I at least take your blood pressure?”
    “I guess.” Judy put a cuff around Stink’s arm and pumped air into it. “I’m afraid you have high blood pressure, Stink,” said Judy. “Your heart’s beating super fast.”
    “That’s ’cause I’m scared of what you might do to me!”
    “I have a better idea.” Judy went straight to Toady’s aquarium. “Operation Toady! You hold him down, Stink, and I’ll make the incision.”
    “The what?”
    “The cut. Hel-lo? It’s an
oper-a-tion
.”
    “You’re loony tunes!” Stink said. “You can’t cut Toady open.”
    “I’ll stitch him back up. C’mon. Just one small, teensy-weensy snip?”
    “N-O, no! Give me him!”
    “It’s the only way to see toad insides. Admit it, Stink. You want to see toad guts.”
    “Not
this
toad’s guts.” Stink rushed over to his desk and rooted around in the top drawer. He held up a cardboard badge that said ASPCA: S AVING L IVES S INCE 1866.
    “Busted!” said Stink, holding the badge up to Judy’s face. “It’s against the law to be mean to animals or hurt them. Ever. Just show them respect and kindness. You’re not even supposed to let your dog drink out of the toilet.”
    “I don’t have a dog. And Mouse doesn’t drink out of the toilet!”

    “Good. If she did, you’d go to jail.”
    “I was just going to practice on Toady. Not put him in the toilet!”
    “You’re not allowed to test stuff out on animals. You’re supposed to test on beans. Or pumpkins. People who make soap and shampoo and underpants and stuff are always testing it on animals, and the animals get hurt or even die.”
    “Stink, nobody makes animals wear underpants.”
    “Yah-huh. They do. No lie. It makes me really sad and mad that people do stuff to animals. I’m so sad and so mad I’m . . . smad!”
    “Okay, okay! Don’t be smad. I cross-my-heart promise I won’t shampoo Toady or make him wear underpants or anything. I just wish I had something really good for Sharing tomorrow. Something nobody’s ever seen. Something
human
.”

    “Like what?”
    “Like Einstein’s brain. A hair from Abraham Lincoln’s beard. Or Grandma Lou’s kidney stone, if only she had saved it.”
    “Put a kidney bean in a jar and say it’s Einstein’s brain. You could say it’s a human bean, get it?”
    “Hardee-har-har, Stink.”
    “I have some baby teeth. Teeth are human.”
    “Everybody’s seen baby teeth, Stink.”
    “I have a toenail collection.”
    “Bor-ing.”
    “Wait! I
do
have a body part.”
    “What? What is it? Can I have it?”
    “Nope. I’m not showing you ’cause you’ll want it bad.”
    “Is it a finger? Or an ear?”
    “NO!”
    “A bone?”
    “Nope.”
    “Is it skin? Like you peel off when you get sunburned?”
    “Nope.”
    “Is it a cavity? You know, like in a tooth?”
    “Nope.”
    “C’mon, Stinker. You HAVE to show me.”
    “Okay, but promise you won’t SHOW or TELL anybody, and you can’t take it to school, okay?”
    “Cross-my-heart