Judy Moody, M.D. Read Free Page B

bellybutton.
    “Okay, 3T! Keep your shirts on,” said Mr. Todd. “Let’s let Judy finish.”
    “In this jar, I have a real live bellybutton thingy. No lie. I call it
Mucus Dermis
. It’s Latin.
Dermis
means skin and
mucus
means yucky. Yucky skin.”
    “Where’d you get it?” asked Rocky.
    “Actually, it’s from my very own brother, Stink Moody.”
    “Double yuck,” said Jessica Finch, squirming in a wormy way.
    “Let me see!” said Frank Pearl. Judy passed Stink’s bellybutton to Frank Pearl. Everybody crowded around to see.
    “Take your seats and Judy will pass it around,” said Mr. Todd.
    “Bellybuttons are also called navels,” said Judy. “Everybody has one, but no two are alike. Just like snowflakes. Sometimes bellybuttons collect lint, and in Japan, they have bellybutton cleaners. My dad told me. No lie!”
    “Thank you, Judy,” said Mr. Todd. “I think we’ve all learned more than we ever imagined about bellybuttons.”
    “Bellybuttons are better than bones,” said Rocky.
    “Better than lice!” said Frank.
    “Better than hairballs!” said Judy.
    “Does your brother know you have his bellybutton?” asked Jessica.

After Sharing, Judy went out in the hall to put away her backpack. Stink was there, listening right outside the classroom.
    “Give it,” said Stink, holding out his hand.
    “Give what?”
    “I know you have it. I came to tell you . . . I just saw you! I overheard. . . . You stole it, didn’t you? You showed the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD my bellybutton!”

    “Nah-uh! Only half of the third grade.”
    “You owe me a million dollars.”
    “Stink, we can fight later. Go back to second grade.”
    “I can’t. I’m sick. My throat hurts. I think I have mumps.”
    “Made-up mumps?”
    “No. For real.” Stink held his neck like it really hurt.
    “Would you say that the pain is in your
larynx
or your
pharynx
?” Judy asked.
    “Huh?”
    “Just go to the nurse,” said Judy.
    “I’m scared.”
    “Of what? Mrs. Bell?”
    “No.”
    “A shot?”
    “No.”
    “Getting lost?”
    “No.”
    “For-real mumps? A pill? Throwing up?”
    “No. No. And not really.”
    “What? What are you scared of?”
    “The skeleton! In the nurse’s office.”
    “Stink! It’s not even real!”
    Stink’s face crumpled like he was going to cry. “The office lady told me to wait till Mrs. Bell gets here, but I was in there all by myself. With
it
.”
    “I’ll take you, if you promise not to be mad about the bellybutton.”
    Judy got a pass from Mr. Todd, then walked Stink down the hall and around the corner to the nurse’s office. Stink pointed to the skeleton in the corner.
    “Pretend he’s not there, Stink. Sit on the edge of the bed. I’ll be the doctor while we wait for Mrs. Bell. So, what seems to be the problem?”
    “When I woke up this morning, I just had hiccups and a loose tooth. Now my throat hurts.”
    Judy picked up a flashlight from the desk and shined it in Stink’s eyes.
    “Hey, now my eyes hurt, too!”
    “Does your face hurt?”
    “Nope.”
    “It’s killing me!” Judy cracked herself up. “Let’s see your throat.” She shined the light down his throat. “Say
ahh!
”
    “Glub!” said Stink.
    “Not
glub. Ahhhhh!
Try again.”
    “Slug!”
    “Never mind,” said Judy.
    “What’s wrong?”
    “Well, you DON’T have a frog in your throat. Just a glub and a slug.” Judy held her head sideways, thinking. She looked Stink up and down.
    “Do you have a pain in your neck, too?” asked Stink.
    “Just you,” said Judy. She cracked herself up some more. “Wait a minute! Stink! I got it! I know what you have!”
    “What?” asked Stink.
    “Skeleton-itis!” said Judy. “Fear-of-Skeletons disease. Found only in second graders with glubby slugs in their throats.”
    “I can’t help it. He just stares . . . with those eyes! It’s creepier than that pyramid eye on a one-dollar bill.”
    “Stink, skeletons don’t have eyes.”
    “I know! Just big spooky