Jeremy Stone Read Free Page A

Monsieur Pierre, Oui?
    Monsieur Jerome Pierre sounds like the name of a Parisian movie actor.
    Paper Clip made a face and held his nose.
    Ms. Framboise asked me a question in French.
    I had
    no clue
    but I answered anyway
    with something stuck in my head from a previous class.
    I said, La neige est froide aujourd’hui.
    Which she told me later meant:
    The snow is cold today.
    Which was not the answer to the question.
    The class laughed.
    Paper Clip, I think, nearly peed himself.
    I did my usual:
    turned to stone, me Jerome Pierre,
    and that’s when I saw
    Jenson Hayes sitting in what had been an empty desk over on the side of the room near the windows.
    He too was mouthing some words.
    And then the words were clear as a bell in my head,
    so I added,
    Pardonnez moi, mademoiselle. Mon francaise est terrible. Excusez-moi.
    And I could tell Ms. Framboise was impressed.
    Jenson had given
    me just the right thing to say
    and everyone stopped laughing.
    Hey, Jenson, I said silently in my head.
    Will you be there for me on the final exam?
    I could really use your help.
    Jenson nodded but then I heard him say,
    That’s cheating, you know.
    And I realized it was
    but then having a dead dude give you answers for a final exam
    seemed like
    a cool way
    to survive French.

The Troof
    When I was young
    the Th sound always came out like F.
    I’m better now
    but sometimes
    I retreat and talk like I did
    when I was
    little.
    But then, I still don’t talk much;
    mostly listen
    and watch.
    I don’t know why
    but I don’t think I was ever capable of lying.
    My mom
    sometimes when she was high
    in a weird way
    (she wasn’t always weird when high,
    sometimes she was funny, sometimes nice)
    but when it got ugly
    she’d accuse me of stealing her smokes
    or eating all the food in the fridge
    Jeremy, come here, she’d screech
    Did you do this?
    No, Mom.
    Are you lying to your mother?
    No. I’m telling
    the troof.
    The troof.
    But she didn’t always believe me.
    and she’d get weirder, angrier
    and more and more not-my-mom.
    So I’d go ahead and say,
    Yeah, Mom. I ate the food in the fridge
    (even though it was moldy sometimes
    and green and smelled bad)
    and I stole your smokes and sold them to kids
    (which I would never do, believe me).
    But my mom would hug me then
    and cry and say, I love you, Jeremy
    and I forgive you. I wish your father
    was here.
    So I guess I was lying about
    saying I never lied.
    But my mom settled down mostly and got rid of all the really bad addictions except smoking and drinking and sometimes thinking too much about men. And my dad was still Out West.
    And me
    I was sticking with
    the troof as best I could.
    I, Jeremy Stone, swear to say the troof, the whole troof and nothing but the troof, so help me God, which is why you have to believe me when I tell you about Old Man and about Jenson Hayes. I wouldn’t, couldn’t make something like that up.
    Yeah,
    so help me God.
    And by the way, God
    please help me figure out
    how I’m supposed to help Jenson.

The Troof Versus Paper Clip Heaney
    I mean
    I really didn’t like the pressure,
    didn’t like it
    when I knew
    I HAD
    to do something.
    Me,
    I prefer to hang back
    and watch others
    and let
    things
    happen.
    I don’t like
    confrontation,
    don’t like
    getting too involved,
    don’t like
    getting
    involved at all.
    I
    like
    invisibility.
    Sorry, dude,
    Jenson said.
    Sorry, but … you know.
    Yeah, I knew.
    Personally, I think Old Man told Thomas
    where I would be after school,
    down walking along the little creek with
    the floating plastic pop bottles,
    old tires, and shopping carts
    thinking that someday I’d come and clean this place up,
    get rid of the garbage
    and help this sad little creek out.
    I guess I was just standing there listening to the water
    talking to me
    saying,
    We know you, brother.
    We flow down from the hills
    where some of your dead relations
    reside.
    I felt less