JACK Read Free

overnight I’d become some sort of freak, some sort of oddity to be stared at and talked about.
    I had the bindings in place when Elliot brought me some clothes. The pants were a little big in the waist and I had to roll up the legs some, but they fit as good as anything from the Goodwill. The shirt was better so I doubt it fit him anymore.
    When I came out into the kitchen Mikey had made sandwiches. The kitchen was the oldest part of the house and it showed. With the room off square, the floor had a distinct dip and it felt like I was walking down hill. It sagged so bad, one of the cabinets over the stove wouldn’t stay closed and Mikey kept having to push it out of the way so he wouldn’t hit his head.
    He put out a plate for me on the table. “Turkey on wheat with extra mayo. You still eat it like that, right?”
    I nodded.
    Elliot spoke around a bite of sandwich. “Do you want to call Emma?”
    “No.” I didn’t want to call anyone. I pulled out a chair across from him.
    “She’s gonna worry about you.”
    “I don’t care.”
    Mikey came over with a cup of coffee and sat down next to Elliot. I couldn’t help but be jealous. Mikey had everything I wanted. Who I wanted. The day I tried to kiss Elliot and he refused to let me was the day it dawned on me I wasn’t really a boy.
    Like I said, Momma never told me otherwise. I took a bite of sandwich and tried not to let my envy show. The older I got, the harder it was to deal with my feelings. I mean, who would kiss me? Who would ever want to? I had boobs and no cock, just a blank space which looked wrong.
    Mikey watched me and I could tell he wanted to say something. He had expressive eyes when he wasn’t hiding them under his bangs.
    “What is it?” I said.
    He fumbled with the bread on his sandwich. “What if she calls the police?”
    “Who?”
    “Emma. What if she calls the cops and they come here looking for you?” Mikey had a right to be scared. He still walked with a limp from a run in with the cops up north where he was from.
    Elliot watched Mikey for a moment and then said, “It’ll be fine. Why would the cops come looking here anyhow?” It was obvious why they would look here. Everyone in town knew he was my best friend. El pushed my plate closer to me. “Eat your sandwich.”
    I didn’t. “He’s right, I should go.”
    “And where are you going to go?”
    Yeah, where? No money. No transportation. I sat there with my hands in my lap trying to figure out what I could do.
    I looked at Mikey, and then Elliot. They was so happy. In spite of all the hardships they was perfect. They had each other and I had no one. The only person who’d ever loved me, understood me, was buried in the Sunshine Hill Cemetery. I was alone now and I did not want to be alone.
    I stood up and so did Elliot. “You’re leaving?”
    “Yeah, Mikey’s right. I better get home before Emma sends the law out. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” Knowing Emma she’d make trouble.
    Elliot followed me to the door. “You don’t have to.”
    “I do.”
    Elliot’s hand touched my cheek and his worried gaze begged me to confide in him. I used to confide in him all the time when we were younger. I don’t think he realized how much time he didn’t have for me since he’d met Mikey.
    “What do you want me to do with the dress? I don’t think it can be saved.”
    Tattered, torn, stained, I didn’t think it could be saved either. I didn’t want the dress, even if it could be made good as new. “Burn it in the trash barrel.”
    Outside a light mist fell, clinging to the grass and trees, forming tiny wet diamonds. The cool air tamed the heat in my cheeks. I stopped at the top step and the planks sighed behind me. Elliot’s hand brushed my shoulder. “Are you going to be all right?”
    No. How could I? “Yeah.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “You should probably go back in. He’ll be worried that you’ll talk me into staying.”
    “I want to talk you into