It Is What It Is Read Free

three of them—Gwen, LeRon, and Candy—are looking at me like they’re waiting for me to say something. So, I give them what they want.
    â€œAll right. I’ll try it out for a minute, I guess.”
    Candy’s eyes light up. Gwen smiles and says, “Thank you. I knew you would. We’ll work something out, though, so you can have your own space. I promise.”
    â€œThere’s nothing to work out,” says Elder LeRon.
    Gwen raises one eyebrow and gives her husband a side-eye glance. “We can talk about this later, LeRon.”
    She gave him her I don’t play voice, which I guess he already knows about, because he puts both hands in the air like he’s done with this.
    Gwen claps her hands together and says, “Well, girls, LeRon and I are going to watch these movies we rented. You two can get settled in and better acquainted.”
    LeRon interjects, “Do you think this is a good time to talk about the rules?”
    Rules? Excuse me ... what? I feel a fever coming on.
    â€œMaybe we should let this bedroom situation sink in first,” replies Gwen.
    I plop down on the Tweety bed and say, “Mom, we might as well get this over with.”
    Candy nods in agreement, so Gwen shrugs her shoulders and says, “Go ahead, Ron. Tell them.”
    He smiles and clears his throat like he’s about to give an acceptance speech on the BET awards. This whole afternoon is going from bad to worse.
    Elder LeRon says, “Let me start by saying that I am happy to have my new wife and my new daughter here in our home.”
    His new daughter ? Hmm ... I’m not sure if I’m feeling that yet. What am I supposed to call him? Daddy? Dad? Papa?
    â€œBut,” he continues, “in order for us to live in harmony, Gwen and I sat down and came up with a few rules. The first rule is that there is a ten o’clock curfew for both of you.”
    My eyebrows shoot all the way up. “Ten o’clock? Mom, I’m sixteen, about to be seventeen! Why should I have the same curfew as a freshman?”
    Gwen bites her bottom lip. “That leads us into the second rule. Anytime you go out, Candy must go with you. We believe that there is strength in numbers.”
    Candy jumps into the air and squeals. I can’t do anything because I’m in a catatonic state of shock. I think my eyes are blinking, but I’m not sure.
    Gwen says, “Calm down, Gia. It’s not going to be that bad. Candy is almost the same age as you guys and you only hang out with Ricky and Hope anyway.”
    â€œWhat about Hi-Steppers? She can’t go to Hi-Steppers stuff!” I argue.
    Candy responds, “I’m trying out for Hi-Steppers.”
    Jesus, take me. Take me now!
    â€œMom!” This is me screaming like a banshee now.
    LeRon says, “I think that’s a great idea, Candy. Then you and your new sister can have something in common.”
    Since my only response is folding my arms and frowning, LeRon continues. “There will be no phone calls from boys, or dates. We don’t want any pregnant teenagers in this house. You’ll have plenty of time to date when you’re grown.”
    â€œWhat about Ricky?” I ask, not expecting Elder LeRon to say anything reasonable.
    â€œNo phone calls from him either. You can see Ricardo at school and church.”
    â€œLeRon, Ricky and Gia have been best friends for years. I think that’s too much,” says Gwen.
    Well, finally she got my back. While she’s back there maybe she can wipe off the tire tracks from the bus she threw me under.
    LeRon frowns deeply. “I don’t know, Gwen. We’ll have some more discussion about this. Remember what happened last year.”
    Okay, so am I going to answer for one little mistake for the rest of my life? Yes, I snuck out on a date with Romeo. Yes, I lied. And yes, I got left standing at the beach looking right foolish. That was sooooo last year! Can we