Infinite Jest Read Free

Arizona tennis squad has profited from the prior matriculation of several former E.T.A. alumni, one of whom
     was one Mr. Aubrey F. deLint, who appears also to be with you here today. Coach White and his staff have given us —’
    The yellow administrator’s usage is on the whole undistinguished, though I have to admit he’s made himself understood. The
     Director of Composition seems to have more than the normal number of eyebrows. The Dean at right is looking at my face a bit
     strangely.
    Uncle Charles is saying that though he can anticipate that the Deans might be predisposed to weigh what he avers as coming
     from his possible appearance as a kind of cheerleader for E.T.A., he can assure the assembled Deans that all this is true,
     and that the Academy has presently in residence no fewer than a third of the continent’s top thirty juniors, in age brackets
     all across the board, and that I here, who go by ‘Hal,’ usually, am ‘right up there among the very cream.’ Right and center
     Deans smile professionally; the heads of deLint and the coach incline as the Dean at left clears his throat:
    ‘— belief that you could well make, even as a freshman, a real contribution to this University’s varsity tennis program. We
     are pleased,’ he either says or reads, removing a page, ‘that a competition of some major sort here has brought you down and
     given us the chance to sit down and chat together about your application and potential recruitment and matriculation and scholarship.’
    ‘I’ve been asked to add that Hal here is seeded third, Boys’ 18-and-Under Singles, in the prestigious WhataBurger Southwest
     Junior Invitational out at the Randolph Tennis Center —’ says what I infer is Athletic Affairs, his cocked head showing a
     freckled scalp.
    ‘Out at Randolph Park, near the outstanding El Con Marriott,’ C.T. inserts, ‘a venue the whole contingent’s been vocal about
     finding absolutely top-hole thus far, which —’
    ‘Just so, Chuck, and that according to Chuck here Hal has already justified his seed, he’s reached the semifinals as of this
     morning’s apparently impressive win, and that he’ll be playing out at the Center again tomorrow, against the winner of a quarterfinal
     game tonight, and so will be playing tomorrow at I believe scheduled for 0830 —’
    ‘Try to get under way before the godawful heat out there. Though of course a dry heat.’
    ‘— and has apparently already qualified for this winter’s Continental Indoors, up in Edmonton, Kirk tells me —’ cocking further
     to look up and left at the varsity coach, whose smile’s teeth are radiant against a violent sunburn — ‘Which is something
     indeed.’ He smiles, looking at me. ‘Did we get all that right Hal.’
    C.T. has crossed his arms casually; their triceps’ flesh is webbed with mottle in the air-conditioned sunlight. ‘You sure
     did. Bill.’ He smiles. The two halves of his mustache never quite match. ‘And let me say if I may that Hal’s excited, excited
     to be invited for the third year running to the Invitational again, to be back here in a community he has real affection for,
     to visit with your alumni and coaching staff, to have already justified his high seed in this week’s not unstiff competition,
     to as they say still be in it without the fat woman in the Viking hat having sung, so to speak, but of course most of all
     to have a chance to meet you gentlemen and have a look at the facilities here. Everything here is absolutely top-slot, from
     what he’s seen.’
    There is a silence. DeLint shifts his back against the room’s panelling and recenters his weight. My uncle beams and straightens
     a straight watchband. 62.5% of the room’s faces are directed my way, pleasantly expectant. My chest bumps like a dryer with
     shoes in it. I compose what I project will be seen as a smile. I turn this way and that, slightly, sort of directing the expression
     to everyone in the