one side, I was gaining control of my life by not letting it beat me, but on the other side, I felt like I was losing control of the only thing that made sense to me.
Confusing right? The only way I would improve, was to work through the issues behind the symptoms. That’s all this all was when you broke it down, a symptom.
As I walked down the path toward her car, I forced myself to focus on the good things I noticed, like the smell of rain in the air, the feeling of the wind gently blowing in my hair. Catching Cass glance at me, I gave her a smile.
"I'm okay," I said. She smiled back, words not necessary to show her encouragement.
Simon being away so much for work, meant Cass had stepped up big time to be my support. While Tom and I were still friends, he and Cass being together had affected the dynamics of our relationship. Losing that closeness with Tom was sad, but it had made my relationship with Cass that much stronger, something I hadn’t even known was possible. We’d always shared everything, but now it was like on a completely different level.
It felt weird and awkward to share my deepest and darkest feelings with Tom, when Cass was sharing private information about their relationship with me, information that meant I couldn’t look at Tom sometimes without laughing. Last week Cass had insisted on telling me all about the fantasy she and Tom had played out. Let’s just say it involved nipples, shaving cream and a sizeable dildo.
That girl had no shame.
I stepped off the sidewalk and made my way around the car, my hand never losing contact with the shiny metallic surface of the car. Once I reached the door, I quickly opened it and climbed inside, locking the door, my throat constricting as I fought to breathe.
Focus Em. You did it. You made it.
Breathing heavily, I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself. Part one of this outing complete.
Chapter Three
Emma
The clinic was only a ten minute drive from our house, across from the beach and just up from the mall. It was only my second time here. My Obstetrician was a lovely woman named Teresa Lewis who had come highly recommended to us by Doctor Lazonski, a friend of Simon's we had been seeing when we lived back in the city.
Once we had ‘officially’ moved, it made more sense for a local clinic, especially considering the high risk of my pregnancy. My appointments were every two weeks and so far everything was going well. That didn't stop the niggling worry in the back of my mind. There was a part of me that was just waiting for everything to go wrong. Things felt so right and that was a feeling I wasn't used to. Things never went this well, not for me anyway.
When Simon and I first discovered we were pregnant, it had been a shock to say the least. I was attacked as a child and it had left my insides pretty messed up. I'd been told by numerous specialists that I'd never be able to have children. That had been something that had cut me deep, because like most girls, I'd wanted to be a mother someday.
Having that taken away from me had been one of the worst things about the attack. Not to take away from the horrific things I experienced during my three day abduction, but to some degree at least, I was able to get past what happened to me, but not being able to have children was like this constant reminder to me of what he’d taken.
Then I found out I was pregnant.
Getting that chance, but having to wait forty weeks to see if my dream was going to be realized was cruel, especially since both doctors had told me I had a twenty percent chance of carrying this baby to full term without complications.
Every day that passed those odds increased slightly, but to be honest even ninety-nine percent wouldn’t relax me. I wouldn't relax until I was holding my baby in my arms and who was I kidding, even then I'd find something to worry about. I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt truly relaxed.
Cass pulled into the parking lot behind the
Confusing right? The only way I would improve, was to work through the issues behind the symptoms. That’s all this all was when you broke it down, a symptom.
As I walked down the path toward her car, I forced myself to focus on the good things I noticed, like the smell of rain in the air, the feeling of the wind gently blowing in my hair. Catching Cass glance at me, I gave her a smile.
"I'm okay," I said. She smiled back, words not necessary to show her encouragement.
Simon being away so much for work, meant Cass had stepped up big time to be my support. While Tom and I were still friends, he and Cass being together had affected the dynamics of our relationship. Losing that closeness with Tom was sad, but it had made my relationship with Cass that much stronger, something I hadn’t even known was possible. We’d always shared everything, but now it was like on a completely different level.
It felt weird and awkward to share my deepest and darkest feelings with Tom, when Cass was sharing private information about their relationship with me, information that meant I couldn’t look at Tom sometimes without laughing. Last week Cass had insisted on telling me all about the fantasy she and Tom had played out. Let’s just say it involved nipples, shaving cream and a sizeable dildo.
That girl had no shame.
I stepped off the sidewalk and made my way around the car, my hand never losing contact with the shiny metallic surface of the car. Once I reached the door, I quickly opened it and climbed inside, locking the door, my throat constricting as I fought to breathe.
Focus Em. You did it. You made it.
Breathing heavily, I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself. Part one of this outing complete.
Chapter Three
Emma
The clinic was only a ten minute drive from our house, across from the beach and just up from the mall. It was only my second time here. My Obstetrician was a lovely woman named Teresa Lewis who had come highly recommended to us by Doctor Lazonski, a friend of Simon's we had been seeing when we lived back in the city.
Once we had ‘officially’ moved, it made more sense for a local clinic, especially considering the high risk of my pregnancy. My appointments were every two weeks and so far everything was going well. That didn't stop the niggling worry in the back of my mind. There was a part of me that was just waiting for everything to go wrong. Things felt so right and that was a feeling I wasn't used to. Things never went this well, not for me anyway.
When Simon and I first discovered we were pregnant, it had been a shock to say the least. I was attacked as a child and it had left my insides pretty messed up. I'd been told by numerous specialists that I'd never be able to have children. That had been something that had cut me deep, because like most girls, I'd wanted to be a mother someday.
Having that taken away from me had been one of the worst things about the attack. Not to take away from the horrific things I experienced during my three day abduction, but to some degree at least, I was able to get past what happened to me, but not being able to have children was like this constant reminder to me of what he’d taken.
Then I found out I was pregnant.
Getting that chance, but having to wait forty weeks to see if my dream was going to be realized was cruel, especially since both doctors had told me I had a twenty percent chance of carrying this baby to full term without complications.
Every day that passed those odds increased slightly, but to be honest even ninety-nine percent wouldn’t relax me. I wouldn't relax until I was holding my baby in my arms and who was I kidding, even then I'd find something to worry about. I honestly cannot remember the last time I felt truly relaxed.
Cass pulled into the parking lot behind the
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