If I Must Lane Read Free

the floor, and digging through stuff in the pile on the floor and tossing it to the lone basket at the foot of the bed.
    “Oh fuck,” he was muttering. “I don’t have anything to wear!”
    Joel had to suppress a laugh. “Then what is all this shit on the floor?” he asked with good nature, and Ian sent him a panicked look from his wild-blue eyes.
    “It’s not funny, mate. All this shit, it’s wrinkled! I’ve got to do laundry! I’ve got to find a laundromat! Jesus, I’ve got to get quarters !”
    He was so distraught that Joel couldn’t laugh anymore. “Ian… Ian… Ian !”
    Ian stopped so abruptly that he tripped over a dress shoe and fell sprawling on (what else?) a pile of clothes. Joel was over to him before he could pick himself up, crouching down to see if he would live.
    “Ian. pop… buddy… you okay?”
    Ian blinked up at him like a startled child. “I’m fine,” he said softly, and a troubled version of that smile appeared. “I hadn’t meant for you to see me lose my nut quite so soon. I’m sorry. I just- I completely forgot….”
    Joel looked carefully at his roommate, saw the bloodshot eyes and the dark bags, and recalled that Ian hadn’t slept the night before, he’d been so intent on his work. Joel took a deep breath, snagged a paper and a pen off the clutter that was Ian’s desk, and sat down to put his tidy mind to work.
    “All right, Ee. Here. This is a list of shit we need. I can pay you back for my half…”
    “No worries,” Ian assured carelessly, and Joel had rolled his eyes. He’d pay the guy back.  He didn’t like being in someone’s debt. “No, really!” Ian assured him. “You’re helping me out of a jam here. Let me pay, right?”
    “Ian, it’s no big deal,” Joel laughed, and he was surprised when Ian’s long-fingered hand wrapped around his wrist and stopped him from writing. Joel looked up and met those spring-blue eyes. They were intent and laser focused, and Joel’s breath had caught in his chest.
    “It’s a very big deal,” Ian said seriously. “You didn’t sign up to be my keeper. I’ve made a piss-poor showing here. I appreciate it.”
    There was something naked in his eyes, something stripped bare. Ian was afraid of what Joel would think of him.
    Joel tried a tentative smile, although there was still something in his chest that wanted him not to breathe. “Yeah, well, I wasn’t doing anything else.” This was true. Christ, when was the last time he had a date?
    “Well, if I get in the way of you getting laid, let me know, right, mate?” Ian grinned, and Joel blushed for no good reason he could think of.
    “Whatever. Look, man, just get this stuff.” He had a thought. “Do not stop, do not pass go, do not get anything but what’s on that list.”
    “What about some takeout for dinner?”
    “And dinner. And by the time you get back, I’ll have clothes ready to go in the washer, and we can go together.”
    Ian blessed him then with the widest, sweetest, most grateful smile. “Well, if I must do laundry, I couldn’t ask for better company.”
    “So,” Melody said seriously while washing out the pie tin, “you keep his life for him, and he pays for dinner. Sounds like you’re his houseboy or something!”
    Joel had to roll his eyes. “Not even that glamorous. And it’s not like that. He just… he loses track of the world so thoroughly, you know? All those clothes on the floor? It was just easier for him to go out and buy new clothes than it was to find what he needed in what he already had. I went through and organized, and he had, like, three pairs of the same jeans!”
    Melody laughed for a minute and then looked at him thoughtfully. “Doesn’t that get old though? You know, keeping someone’s life for them?”
    Joel shrugged. “He’s kept it up since I organized it. And trust me, he’s got his own life. In fact, I think he fucks anything with a pulse!”
    “Oooh… lots of hot women coming in and out of your