If I Must Lane Read Free Page B

right?”
    “Disease, Ee?” Joel realized he was on the verge of tears. How had this man managed to live on his own and be this innocent? “You know, HIV, herpes, shit that’ll make your dick fall off?”
    Ian’s eyes were suddenly saucer-shaped, and his mouth was wide open. Oh yes, now the light bulb was on. “Oh, well, shit, mate, I never thought about that! I just….” He cocked his head, something suddenly occurring to him. “And how would you know about that? I didn’t know you swung that way, do you?”
    Joel shook his head. “I want to Catholic school, where they teach you everything with a healthy dose of ‘God will hate you if you do that, but if you want God to hate you go ahead’. Or maybe that was Sister Margaret.” Joel tried a laugh, but Ian was looking more and more distraught, so he tried some kindness instead. “Look, Ee, we’ll get you tested. It’ll be no big deal.”
    “Do you believe that?” Ian asked suddenly, a pinch around his eyes. “You don’t believe that God hates me, do you?”
    Oh crap. Heaven save Joel from literal mathematical geniuses. “No,” he said softly, trying to do anything to take that pinched look from those Easter-sky eyes. “I think as long as you care about the person, and you’re being good to each other, God’s all fine with it. But that’s why this worries the hell out of me, Ian. You don’t even like these people.  I mean hell , I don’t think you even remember that kid’s name!”
    “Benji,” Ian supplied helpfully, and it was all Joel could do to not make gagging motions with his fingers.
    “Yeah, whatever, it’s like when I’m not there, you wander out and bring back a warm body. You deserve better than that, Ee. What you’re doing is dangerous, and you could get hurt, and I don’t want that to happen.”
    Ian shrugged and looked away. “I don’t know, mate. I used to be okay, but now… you’re not there. It gets lonely in the place, right?”
    Joel did laugh now. “Jesus, Ian! Get a cat!”
    That lost look went away, and Ian looked across the table and grinned back at him. “That’s an idea. I like cats.”
    They were sitting near a window, and Joel found himself fascinated by the way the light hit that halo of curly blond hair and brought out the reddish hints in Ian’s eyelashes. He stopped himself and thought of a way to keep Ian safe.
    “Okay, then, you look for a cat, and I’ll promise to call when I’m going to be late, deal?”
    The look on Ian’s face transcended “pleased” and bordered on “sublimely happy”.
    “Right, mate. If I must!”
     
    Joel and Melody made it to the couch, each one sitting on the end and tangling their legs companionably in the middle. Melody was channel surfing with the sound off, listening avidly to Joel’s latest story, and when he was finished, she leaned her head back sleepily. Joel was pretty tired himself, but, well, he missed his big sister. They’d bickered, like most children, but he’d always loved knowing she had his back—bullies at school, his first broken heart (a girl from public school their father hadn’t approved of)—she was Joel’s own personal pit bull, and really, until Ian, his best friend.
    “Honey, that’s sweet and all, but really, don’t you think you got enough to take care of with this Ian person? You really want a cat?”
    Joel felt his expression go soft and a little dreamy. He couldn’t help it—he knew how it must look, but…
    “Ee actually takes care of the cat,” he said truthfully. “Ian feeds it, and he’s the one who took it to the vet when we first got it.”
    Melody snorted, her eyes half closed in sleep. They’d talked until nearly one in the morning. “So he can’t take care of himself, but he can take care of the cat? How’s that work?”
    Joel shrugged. “I think he thinks the cat’s more important.”
     
    A week after their little sex-ed discussion, Joel came home to find a little tin of high-priced cat food on the