I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World Read Free

are tortured
    and in prisons?
    Is there anyone in charge?
    Or is this whole thing spinning out until it explodes
    or dissolves?
    And if there is something we can do
    why aren’t we doing it?
    What happened to fury?
    What happened to accuracy
    or accountability?
    What happened to not showing off your wealth?
    What happened to kindness?
    What happened to teenagers rebelling
    instead of buying and selling?
    What happened to teenagers kissing
    instead of blogging and dissing?
    What happened to teenagers marching
    and refusing
    instead of exploiting and using?
    I want to touch you in real time
    not find you on YouTube,
    I want to walk next to you in the mountains
    not friend you on Facebook.
    Give me one thing I can believe in
    that isn’t a brand name.
    I’m lonely.
    I’m scared.
    Girls younger than me are giving blowjobs
    in homeroom
    and they don’t even know it’s sex.
    They just want to be popular
    and get some respect.
    Most girls my age are taking pills
    or not getting out of bed
    or eating or starving
    or getting nose jobs or implants
    or getting cut
    or twittering away
    or covering themselves
    or desperate for a way
    to be awake without faking
    to be alive without freaking
    to be serious
    to be true
    to even think of loving someone
    when we’re already doomed.
    You tell me how to be a girl in 2010
    I say let’s go for it
    if it’s all coming down.
    I say let’s speak it
    let’s fight it
    let’s right it
    there’s nothing to hold on to
    if it’s already gone.
    They left it to us.
    It sucks but it’s true.
    It’s you and me baby.

LET ME IN
Suburbs, USA
    Oh God. I hate it when they act like that.
    “Sit down. Shut up. Stop embarrassing me. Please!”
    Don’t worry!
    I don’t say this out loud. God no. Only in my head. These are my friends … supposedly.
    “Oh God. Please stop. You are so utterly immature.”
    I hate it when all those people look at me.
    Not like them. They’re always showing off. They’re not so sure of themselves when they’re alone. But in the posse—giddyup.
    It’s hopeless. I can’t keep up. I’m always one Marc Jacobs, one Juicy Couture behind.
    There’s Julie.
    “Hi hi.” Kiss kiss.
    She hates my guts. Look at her cruising my once-something-now-so-over boot. I wish my feet were leaves. Blow away. I bought the brown leather riding boots like you said. Even though I’m allergic to horses and I didn’t have the money. Or Ishould say my mother didn’t. She’s a temp secretary and sometimes for weeks doesn’t even get called. I got hysterical in the shoe store. Started hyperventilating on the floor. My mother was so embarrassed that she paid.
    But then they changed right after that. Julie says riding boots are so pre-Britney. It’s all about purple UGGs. My mother will not even consider it. She doesn’t get it. She constantly jeopardizes my position. I mean she’s the reason I can’t keep up. I hate my mother and I hate these painful riding boots even more. To be honest I didn’t like them in the first place. Now I just look like a stupid girl without a pony.
    Oh God, Julie just can’t stop.
    “Cut it out, okay? I got the drop circle earrings like you said and the … Just stop checking me out.”
    Don’t worry. I don’t say this out loud. Only in my head. They are my friends … supposedly.
    Julie now hates every bit of me. It happened yesterday. I completely blew it. I was accidentally nice to Wendy Apple in front of them. I forgot and hugged her right there. I lost myself. Wendy is so out. She’s got wild hair and her family lives in this ugly house and she has the dumbest laugh. She can’t help herself and she really doesn’t care. To be honest, I sort of like Wendy. Well, I admire her. She’s pretty sarcastic and draws these amazing pictures of slutty angels who are always falling from somewhere like outer space. But it’s familiar.
    Julie says she’s not like us. Well,
them
. Julie saw me hug Wendy and did the big eyeball roll in front of all of the