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dog, witnessing the puppy’s boundless capacity for disobedience and his no-holds-barred spirit of carpe diem, will experience a flashback to his own infancy and instantaneously and wholly will nullify all your years of diligent training. Begin rehearsing the “No!” command now. Stock up on stain remover.
    Myth 2
    Your new dog will provide constant camaraderie for your incumbent dog, relieving you of the guilt associated with your failure to be an adequate playmate for Dog Numero Uno.
Not really. The only thing dogs like more than playing with other dogs is playing with humans. So when you set your hounds loose in the yard to play with each other, rather than frolicking together they will turn around and stand still and stare at you, waiting. “Go on. Play!” you’ll say, shooing them on from the door, and their sad, supplicating eyes will seem to say, “But we want to play with you.” Consequently, your guilt is not cut in half but doubled.
    Myth 3
    Your dogs will entertain each other while you’re away, cutting down on episodes of delinquency.
Nope. The capacity for destruction in dogs increases in exponential ratio to the number of dogs assembled at the moment of wrongdoing. Where one dog might be satisfied to simply chew awhile on your sofa pillow, two dogs will shred, unstuff, and scatter the pillow tatters around the house. (The two-dog owner’s dilemma, of course, is that when you come home to the wreckage you’re never sure which dog, if not both, committed the evil deed.)
    Myth 4
    Your dogs will fight.
No, they won’t. Dogs are much more efficient than humans in establishing a tranquil, well-regulated hierarchy. Your older dog will claim his ancestral rank as alpha dog, the puppy will instinctively fall in behind, and they will quickly marshal their forces toward the immediate task of dominating you. The first time you have to command your dogs to quit some bit of mischief they’ve gotten into together, you will see them look at you, then look at each other, and you’ll realize in the bottom of your heart that you are outnumbered, outweighed, and out-willed. Be strong in that moment. If you falter, you will die a thousand deaths.
    Myth 5
    Owning two dogs really isn’t much different from owning one.
No. Owning two dogs is like owning two dogs. Be prepared to accommodate a radical contrast in personality and emotional temperament, even within the same breed. Our two Labs, who could pass for identical twins on appearance alone, are as different in their souls as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The three-year-old is dignified and defiant, scholarly and aloof, unmoved by affection, wont to wandering off by himself. On the other hand, our one-year-old is perpetually overjoyed and randy as a frat boy, though prone to crippling fits of unwarranted guilt. He’s mischievous and lewd, confident to a fault, iconoclastic in word and deed. (If you want to have fun owning two dogs, start practicing anthropomorphism now.)
    Myth 5, Addendum A
    Cleaning up after two dogs really isn’t much different from cleaning up after one.
Wrong. Be properly equipped for the twofold increase in poop—especially if you favor larger breeds—or your yard will quickly become as treacherous as a war zone’s minefield. As far as clean-up implements go, I recommend the user-friendly combination poop scoop, available at many pet stores. It’s a sturdy mini-rake paired with a chrome-plated scoop, both pieces outfitted with long wooden handles. In a pinch, a garden shovel works fine. You’ll also see a twofold increase in shedding, which will transform the inside of your house into a furry cave, unless you act swiftly and regularly to suck up those stray hairs. Get a good dog brush, use it often, and get a powerful vacuum.
    Myth 6
    You’ll regret it.
No, you won’t. The hardships of a two-dog life are always considerable but never insurmountable. You will learn to adapt to the doggy difficulties that arise. For instance, on walks our older