How Possession Can Help You Lose Weight Read Free Page A

REALLY FAMOUS dead king like the one killed in the car park. They’d be ALL YOURS for a week OR MORE! You could find out what they were really like, and get the low down on all their FAMOUS friends.
    And lose weight AT THE SAME TIME!
    Crapper Clinics employ some of the best-connected mediums in the business. Some have celebrity AGENTS and GOSSIP COLUMNISTS as their spirit guides. No one else has such a stellar list on their books.
    So, if you want to discuss togas with Julius Caesar or discuss marriage with Henry VIII, look no further.
    4. Animals Are Not Always Man’s Best Friend
    Many people love the idea of sharing their head with an animal — a much-loved former pet, a lion, an eagle, a dolphin. It’s different. It’s an adventure. It’s exciting.
    But there’s often a downside. Many clients have spoken of an overpowering desire to chase cars, or climb trees, or lock on to the leg of a passing stranger. It can be very disconcerting. Especially for the stranger.
    At Crapper Clinics we talk through the pros and cons of each choice and the importance of establishing boundaries. Live animals are unpredictable, dead ones are even more so.
    And dinosaurs are particularly troublesome. A Brontosaurus may look placid, but they’re very set in their ways. If you don’t like the idea of spending a week waist-deep in a river, nibbling on overhanging leaves, then we suggest you try something smaller.
    That said, if you take the proper precautions, having an animal inside your head can be a liberating and life-changing experience. And you can have hours of fun with a ball of wool.
    5. Demons Are a Girl’s Best Friend
    If you want to lose weight FAST, and you don’t have many friends, this is the way to do it. You can lose TWENTY pounds in a day. One woman lost over ONE HUNDRED!
    But there’s a cost. Demons are more expensive, more risky, and harder to exorcise.
    And you might turn green.
    With scales...
    And grow a couple of extra limbs...
    On your head.
    6. Crapper’s Demon Dating Service

    With so much choice, many people feel overwhelmed. There are tens of thousands of spirits and demons out there. How can you narrow it down?
    Crapper Clinics has the solution. We call it the Demon Dating Service, and it’s FREE to every one of our clients.
    Yes, at Crapper Clinics we go that extra mile. We don’t hook you up to just ANY spirit or demon. We understand the very personal nature of possession, and the importance of finding someone, or something, compatible. You’re going to spend days, potentially weeks, with this being inside you. Best to find someone you can get along with.
    We also understand the desire for FUN and ADVENTURE. Want to hook up with a dead rock star? An ancestor? A favorite pet? A DINOSAUR!
    Or maybe your tastes range towards the EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL or even EXTRA-DIMENSIONAL? We can help you hook up with ALIENS and DEMONS! Or even DEAD alien demons!
    Just imagine the fun you could have with your new, ultra-powerful BFF!
    All you have to do is fill in a simple questionnaire (like the one at the back of the book here ) and our GIANT computer will sift through our HUGE database of over FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND eligible spirits and demons to select your perfect partner. Who knows where it might lead! You might drop five dress sizes and be whisked away to a hunky dimension where the roads are paved with CHOCOLATE!

Head Spinning and Other Exercises

    Astral Exercising
    Exercising your demon helps YOU lose weight. Isn’t that COOL? We’ve known for like FOREVER that exercise helps you lose weight but, up until now, everyone thought that meant YOU had to do the exercise. But, with possession, you can take a back seat and let your demon do the work — ASTRALLY. And, as the demon exercises, it burns up more of YOUR calories.
    But what does ‘astrally’ mean?
    Well, you’ve heard of astral projection, right? That’s where a person uses their