How (Not) to Fall in Love Read Free Page A

never heard screaming arguments. They spent long weekends together all the time, flying to resort towns and leaving me home with Toby.
    I had no complaints about that. I loved my time alone. I wasn’t the kid who threw wild parties when her parents were gone. I was the weirdo watching old movies by myself or making jewelry while I listened to music. I invited Sal over, no one else, though I sometimes wished I had a boyfriend to hang out with when my parents were gone.
    Desperate to escape the fear and anxiety bearing down on me, I put on an old romantic comedy, hoping to cheer myself up. The movie lulled me to sleep and I woke hours later to the theme music playing over and over. I turned off my TV and stumbled downstairs to say good night to Mom.
    But when I walked into the family room, lured by the sounds of late night television, I found Mom passed out on the couch, an empty wine bottle tipped over on the floor.

September 17
    Dear Darcy,
    I’m sorry honey. So sorry. I need to get away from Colorado for a while to clear my head and focus on the next step. I miss you and your mom and love you both. Remember we will be Tri!Umphant! no matter what happens.
    XO,
    Dad

Chapter Three
    September 23
    The Top Ten Reas o ns Darcy Covington Should Leave Woodbridge Academy
    10. Her dad can’t afford the tuition anymore since he’s a QUITTER.
    9. Repo Girl can barely afford the bus pass.
    8. Woodbridge isn’t a school for spawn of criminals.
    7. She’s
    6. a
    5. L
    4. O
    3. S
    2. E
    1. R
    Chloe Hendricks had outdone herself. The photoshopped pic of my dad’s face had devil horns and blacked-out teeth. And dollar signs for eyes. Chloe had never liked me, maybe because it was easy for her to pick on a mouse like me.
    “You need to report her,” Sal growled, tearing the sign off my locker.
    “For what? Not being as funny as Letterman?” I tried to sound sarcastic, but failed miserably.
    I’d hoped no one had watched Letterman last night. He’d used my dad as the butt of his Top Ten list. He must’ve been inspired by the CNN story stating my dad was on a leave of absence, combined with all the crazy rumors swirling on the internet.
    Sal tore the sign into strips, making a big production of it for the crowd watching us.
    Mark joined us at my locker. “Is it still a rule, that guys can’t hit girls? ’Cause I want to.”
    I almost smiled at him. He was as big as a truck but he had a soft, squishy center, at least for Sal and me, if not for Chloe. “No, you don’t. And yes, it’s still a rule.”
    He shook his head, huffing out a sigh. “I could key her car. Slit her tires.”
    “No.” I punched him in the shoulder. “Go pick on someone your own size.”
    He grinned at me. “There is no one my own size. At least not here.”
    “You’re too nice, Darcy,” Sal said, glowering at me as she crumpled the remains of the sign and tossed it in the trash.
    “Not really,” I said. “Mostly I’m a big chicken. Have you seen her claws? Plus she probably has rabies.”
    The warning bell for class rang. Mark and Sal engaged in major PDA, then he took off for PE.
    Sal hugged me before we went our separate ways. “Someday karma will bite that bitch in the ass.”
    I shrugged. I wasn’t sure I believed in karma anymore. Mom and I sure didn’t deserve what was happening to us.
    In the three weeks since Dad had disappeared, we’d been swimming upstream against a raging river of chaos, but at least we’d kept things a secret. No one knew that Tri!Umphant! Harvest had frozen our bank accounts, after Mom had spent days meeting with the board. Or that Dad had gone Kerouac, hitting the road with no destination, sending us random postcards. Or that J.J. had suddenly developed a Jekyll and Hyde personality, and was only showing scary Mr. Hyde to us.
    Now everyone knew about my dad, including my long lost Uncle Charlie, who’d called last night after he saw Letterman. I’d answered the phone since Mom was passed out on the