person Iâd invite. But my mother never goes away, and if she did, Iâd have to stay at my fatherâs.â She paused. âSo?â
âI donât know.â
âYou have to admit it would be fun being on our own, right?â
I nodded. It
would
be fun.
âAnd it doesnât have to be big. Just a few people. What harm would it do to have a few people over?â
I sighed. âHow about if we get down to studying?â I asked.
âIâll help with your homework on one condition,â she said.
âWhatâs the condition?â
âI want you to just think about this. You donât have to say yes, but donât say no. Just think about it. Okay?â
âI could think about it.â
âAnd just think about it being a small gathering. A few peopleâ¦maybe eight or ten or so. Not a partyâ¦just a small gathering. Would that be okay?â
âI can think about it.â
I didnât like any of it. But what harm would there be in thinking about it? And even if I did agree, what would be bad about having a few people over?
Chapter Three
âNow, girls, youâre sure you donât want a ride over to Jenniferâs house?â my mother asked.
âNo, itâs better if we study here,â Jen said. âItâs quieter.â
âEspecially with you and Dad gone,â I said. âWe can get more done here.â
âAnd then Iâm going to watch Caseyâs soccer game, and then weâll go over to my house.â
âOkay. Thereâs food in the cupboards, leftover meat loaf in the fridge, and here,â my mother said. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. âI want you to order pizza tonight so your mother doesnât have to cook.â
Jen reached out and took the money. âThank you so much, Mrs. Bennett.â
âNo, thank you. Itâs nice of you and your mother to have Casey stay with you tonight.â
âItâs my pleasure,â Jen said.
âMaybe I should phone your mother and thank her for letting Casey stay with you.â
âNo!â Jen said loudly. âUmâ¦my mom isnât home right nowâ¦sheâs outâ¦you knowâ¦shopping. But Iâll tell her for you.â
âYou have your key?â my mother asked.
âYes, I have my key,â I said.
âBe sure you lock up when you leave.â
âIâll lock up.â
âI know you will. Itâs so good that we know we can trust you.â
I had to work hard not to look down at the floor.
Trust
wasnât the word that came to mind. Neither did the word
good
. Instead I was feeling guilty and deceptive.
Not just about what I was doing to my parents, but because, in the back of my mind, I had thought that if anything went really wrong I could always blame Jen. It
was
her fault. Sheâd made me do it, even when I really didnât want to.
But I knew that wasnât true. I wanted to do this as much as she did. I was tired of being on the outside too. I wanted to be on the inside, the way Iâd been before weâd moved.
I knew that no matter what happened, this was just as much my doing as hers. We were in this together, for better or worse.
âYou have my cell phone number,â my mother said, âand of course you have your nanaâs number. She was so sad when she heard her favorite granddaughter wasnât coming along.â
âI just have too much work toââ
âI explained it all,â my mother said.âWe even told her how you were staying home because you wanted to study and how proud we are of you for doing that.â
If only they knew.
âNow, no candles. Please be careful with the stove, donât open the door to strangers, donâtââ
âDonât play with matches, run with scissors or eat anything that you find on the ground,â I said, cutting her off.
âUnless
Jan (ILT) J. C.; Gerardi Greenburg