Holding Onto You (Never Letting Go) Read Free Page B

me. I liked having her around, well sometimes, but it wasn’t fair to have her waiting for something that would never come. I refused to commit to her because my heart belonged to someone else. Even if she didn’t want me, I still needed to keep myself opened.
    Everything around me was peaceful and I felt calm. It was the first time in months where I felt like I could breathe again. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the park and saw nothing but nature. The trees and flowers were in full bloom, full of color and brightness. There were birds flying above me and little critters roaming the grass. The June air was crisp and the sun was out. It was nice to be out here in the early morning. I turned to my right and saw two girls running. I smiled and gave them a nod.
    I deeply inhaled and took a seat on the green grass. I stared out to my surroundings while taking a gulp of my cold water. After running three miles, I was dead tired, but I needed to get out of my apartment. Too much has been on my mind lately. There were countless nights I thought about Sophia, hoping she was okay. There were times when I tried searching for her on the internet but I never finished typing her name. Something always stopped me-getting interrupted or being too scared to see what I’d find. I heavily sighed, took out my cell phone, and opened up my text messages.
    Sarah: Are you ever going to come back to NC?
    Me: Probably not. What’s the point?
    Sarah: You are such a fucking guy. Seriously! Sophia was home last week you know?
    Me: How is she doing?
    Sarah: Miserable. She’s in counseling and we think it’s working but I know she misses you. She’s been looking through her album of you guys. Wtf Adam! The least you can do is talk to her or something!
    Me: And say what? Sorry I ditched you but I was young and stupid? Please Sarah-she won’t see it my way. I can’t see her. It’s for the best.
    Sarah: Adam! Get your head out your ass and talk to her. I know you love her so don’t sit there and lie to me or yourself.
    Me: I’ll always love her.
    Sarah: Then get your shit together.
    Me: How can I make things right?
    Sarah: You need to try and you might want to try soon because she’s dating someone.
    Me: Sophia is? Who?
    Sarah: His name i s Kyle.
    Reading the text messages again brought me back to the night she texted me and told me the news. I was talking with Connor when my phone vibrated. We talked and then she popped the news. I was blinded and felt the self-loathing burn through me. My head was spinning and my body shook with anger. I fell on the couch in my living room and kept saying no in my head. Connor rushed over and took my phone. He read the messages and looked at me. He told me that I moved on and it wasn’t fair that I felt this way. I knew he was right. I had Kennedy and Sophia had Kyle but something didn’t sit right with me.
    That night I tossed uneasily in bed. I was alone and Kennedy was out with her friends. I sat up on my bed and rubbed my eyes. I never realized how much Sophia meant to me until now. Fate was an ugly and evil bitch. Why did either of us deserve this feeling? I knew it was selfish to still hold on to the past, but I hoped every day when my phone rang or vibrated that it’d be her. There were so many time I sat in my car and thought about driving back to North Carolina. I wanted to drop everything and go back to the girl who stole my heart when we were babies. The girl that understood me and made me weak with just one look in her eyes. There was an invisible force holding me back and I couldn’t break through. I missed her everyday and hoped that our paths would cross again. She was everywhere; I felt her everywhere.
    Every basketball game, I imagined her sitting on the bleachers with our friends and cheering for me like she used to when we were in high school. Before the start of each game, I looked up at the bleachers in hopes I’d see her face but she was never there. Flashes of her smile