Have a New Husband by Friday Read Free

that women have more severe and longer-lasting pain than men. 8 (But you already knew that, didn’t you?) On average, you experience headaches, facial and oral pain, back pain, and other ailments more frequently and more severely than your husband does. Perhaps that explains why when you get the flu, you take DayQuil and keep going (you’re used to putting up with a little pain), but when your husband gets the flu, he turns into a little boy who needs chicken soup and keeps yelling for orange juice, stat! Men can’t handle pain the way women can.
    Although a few researchers still try to pretend that men’s and women’s bodies are essentially the same outside the bikini lines, more doctors and scientists are coming to agree with Dr. Marianne Legato of Columbia University, who says, “We’re talking about substantive, important differences between men and women in every system of the body, from the central nervous system to the gut, to the skin, to the way in which we metabolize drugs.” 9
    These differences affect every area of marital life. For instance, about 31 percent of men experience sexual difficulty, compared to 43 percent (close to half) of women. 10 One study found that 1 out of every 3 women said she wasn’t interested in sex, but only 1 out of every 6 men said the same thing. And 1 out of every 10 men reported that sex provides little pleasure for him, but 1 out of every 5 women admitted that sex isn’t any fun! 11 That’s understandable, considering it’s extremely rare for men to be incapable of achieving orgasm, yet lots of women consistently struggle in this regard.
    The nature of sexual desire is equally distinct. You’re probably not surprised that researchers have found that a man’s sexual desire is “more easily triggered by external cues” (I can hear many of you external cues” (I can hear many of you sighing already) and is “more constant across the life cycle.” 12 That’s a fancy way of saying your husband will, on average, be easily aroused until the day he stops breathing! The same study indicated that a woman’s sexual desire is much more reflective and reactive to her partner, rather than being spontaneous or initiated by her. In other words, her desire grows in interaction with her partner, while her husband’s desire grows merely by seeing his wife naked—or with clothes on.
    No wonder that husband of yours is a foreign creature, an oddball, an utter (and sometimes exasperating) mystery. Knowing the way men are wired will go a long way toward helping you have a far more satisfying relationship. One thing’s for sure: society isn’t helping you out in this regard.
    Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.
    Jean Kerr 13
    The Unisex Rip-off
    Occasionally in this book, I’ll step onto some “where angels fear to tread” territory. This is one such time. I ask that you hear me out before you jump to any conclusions or throw this book out the window. If your goal truly is to have a new husband by Friday, read on.
    I’ll be blunt. The whole feminist movement didn’t do women any favors by pushing the unisex, “we’re all the same, we’re no different” philosophy onto the world. But frankly, we men are to blame. If we really were the kind of leaders the Almighty intended us to be, there never would have been a need for such a crusade. Both men and women would have existed in happy harmony.
    Let me ask you: if you could have the perfect marriage, what would it look like? I’ll paint a scenario, and you tell me what you think.
    In a perfect marriage, the husband and wife have an intimate connection. They make joint decisions about life, talk about things before decisions are made, communicate love and respect to each other on a daily basis, and are able to talk about anything without fear of judgment, put-downs, or