Have a New Husband by Friday Read Free Page B

they start wondering, Hey, why bother? I can do this without him (or her). I don’t really need this marriage anymore.
    According to an article in USA Today, 42 percent of couples under 30 don’t consult each other on major purchases (and that includes cars). If the husband wants it, he gets it. If the wife wants it, she gets it. (Interestingly, a third of those 65 or older say they share decision making in most major areas.) 15 No wonder so many married couples today are in the thick of financial troubles.
    Yet in the midst of all this struggle for power in a unisex society, guess who rules the roost? No doubt, it’s you women! And surprisingly, men aren’t putting up a fight about it. Women have the upper hand at home, says another USA Today article:
    Of 1,260 individuals surveyed in four areas of decision-making in the typical American home, women had the final say in 43% of couples—almost twice that of men. . . .
    Megan Murphy, director of the marriage and family therapy program at Iowa State University-Ames, . . . [says,] “There’s a myth out there that men are the heads of households and make the decisions, and that’s it, but real life isn’t like that, from what I see.” 16
    Do you really want to be “the same” as your husband? Or do you want a guy who will see you as his equal partner in life—not the same as him but treasured because of how your differences work so well and excitingly together? He’ll be the kind of husband who seeks you out for your brains and asks you what you think because he doesn’t fear your judgment. He’ll be the kind of husband who does anything for you. He’ll take the garbage out (without being asked). He’ll watch the kids so you can have a night off with your girlfriends. He’ll be the companion you’ve always dreamed of—someone who listens to you, appreciates your intellect and ideas, and adores you. And that man who loves you will stick around for a lifetime. He’ll be your knight in shining armor. He’ll be your soul mate.
    Now, isn’t that really what you want, when it comes right down to it?
    So why not, for the remainder of this book, throw out any preconceived notions you have about who should do what in your home and who isn’t doing what, and get to know this creature you’ve married? I promise you, it will be worth your while.
    Guess who rules the roost? No doubt, it’s you women! And surprisingly, men aren’t putting up a fight about it.
    A Line in the Sand
    Over the past several decades, society has been cleverly defining men’s roles. The new “sensitive” man is supposed to be able to read a woman’s mind (somehow picking up on a woman’s intuition) and prefer to spend an evening and prefer to spend cuddling and talking.
    An evening of cuddling and talking is about as unnatural for a man as it is for a fish to climb a tree. When men get together, we talk about our jobs, the bills, the weather, the stock market, and the local sports team—anything that’s one step removed from us. When a buddy tells us his wife just had a baby, we congratulate him, but usually we don’t ask, “So how much did the baby weigh? . . . Nine pounds? Are you kidding me? That’s a huge baby! Now, how long was the baby? . . . Twenty-two inches? The size of a nice walleye! Okay, tell me about the labor—how many hours?” That’s just not the way men think or talk. In fact, we’d probably forget to ask if it was a boy or a girl unless the proud daddy volunteers the information.
    Men are physical beings. We’re attracted to the physical. Here’s what I mean. Think of the man you most admire and trust who’s not a relative. Now put yourself in a situation where you meet this man socially. I can guarantee you something—in less than one-fifth of a second, this man has checked you out from your toes to your head and all major spots in between. Don’t believe me? Ask your husband.
    How to Think Differently
    1. Assess the current situation.
    2. What would