H. A. Carter Read Free

said
she was just tired of all of them, we both were. I wasn't going to
tell JJ that it was her, of course. It's not like he'd believe me
if I did anyway. Blaming me was just second nature to him. I was an
easy scapegoat and always had been. I probably always will be. That
thought made me really hate my life.
    “I didn't do it, JJ,” I said quietly to the
smooth linoleum floor. I didn't want to look him in the eyes. It
always seemed to make things worse when I tried to stand up for
myself. So, I just gave up these days. Really, what more could he
possibly do to me?
    “Don't lie to me, you little shit!” he
growled, “Mr. Ryan's making me retake the test before the football
game. If I don't pass, I don't play!”
    His thick trunk like arm swung against my
chest hard, pinning me to the wall. I couldn't move
    nor did I dare try. The weight of his
behemoth arm crushing against my rib cage.
    It will be over soon. Just close your eyes
and take it, I said to myself.
    JJ leaned down again, hovering so close I can
smell the cheap acne cream on his stubbly chin.
    “Trust me, Carter, if we lose this game,
it'll be your ass. I'm going to make sure everyone knows it was
your fault too. Everyone.”
    Great! That was just what I needed, more
people hating me. I really hate my life.
    JJ snickered a little, “Pathetic, Carter.
Just plain pathetic.”
    It was coming. I knew it. He'd punch me right
in the guts for this one. My eyes shut tight in anticipation. So
tight all I could see was a blurred pinkish white from the inside
of my eyelids. I took in a deep breath waiting for the
inevitable.
    Nothing. But, it'll come. I know it.
    Nothing.
    Nothing.
    The wait was starting to get to me. God, just
get it over with!
    Tick tock.
    Tick tock.
    What's taking him so long?!
    I almost started to panic. The bell would be
ringing soon, and all of the classes would switch. The hallway
flooded with giggling teenage girls and hormone driven teenage
boys, each one not above laughing at the freak getting his ass
kicked yet again.
    Oh, my god, he's waiting for everyone to see
it! My heart raced faster and faster, nearly
    pumping right out of my chest. My face was
reddening and becoming flush. My stomach churned slightly. I was
too afraid to open my eyes just yet.
    I don't think I can take anymore
embarrassment today! I cried to myself.
    Jack started to laugh.
    “Not yet, Carter, you little weenie. You'll
have your time, though. I'm not going to let you know when, but
you'll have it. Mark my words,” he snarled at me and walked off
with his entourage of wannabes.
    Relief struck me as well as fear. Who knows
what horrible things he and his jock friends had planned for me
now. I had two more classes until the day was over. One of them
being with JJ and two of his lackeys. Shit was going to hit the fan
today....and I was the shit.

 
7
     
    There were so many more instances in which I
was made the butt of every joke by JJ and his friends. Those
bastards certainly knew how to make a guy feel welcomed. Ha.
Ha.
    I tried to remember the first time they let
me know I wasn't good enough for their little clique. I'd like to
say it wasn't until at least junior high, but it started much
earlier than that. I do believe the first time I met them I was
already considered the odd man out.
    What was so wrong with me? Why didn't they
like me? What did I do??
    Even when we were young they bullied me. It
all started back in elementary school. I remember the worse day
very well. That was the day they made me pee my pants in front of
the entire third grade.
     
    *
     
    “Come on, Harvey, let's go! We have to hurry!
She'll be waiting, I swear! Scout's honor!” JJ held up two fingers
very business like in order to prove his honesty.
    “I've really got to go, JJ! This is our only
bathroom break, you know that! I thought I could, but just I can't
wait!” I pleaded back, holding myself trying not to let go. In Miss
Watson's third grade you got one bathroom break right after