Get Smart 9 - Max Smart and the Ghastly Ghost Affair Read Free Page A

in existence, Max. We made it that way so you could carry it in your pocket and yet identify it quickly when you needed it. Do you have any idea what it really is?”
    Max inspected the penny again. “A Hoover-head nickel?” he guessed.
    “No! It’s a communications neutralizer neutralizer!”
    “Oh . . . sure . . Max nodded. “I see. With this Coolidge-head penny, I can neutralize KAOS’ communications neutralizer, and then the phones will work.”
    “Even better than that, Max,” the Chief said. “When you rub that penny it sends out a signal. That signal will be picked up at Control headquarters. Then, we’ll be able to home in on it and locate the meeting place and take all those KAOS assassins—including Arbuthnot—into custody.”
    “That’s wonderful, Chief!” 99 said.
    “That’s more than Coolidge was able to do,” Max said. He dropped the penny into his pocket. “Is there anything else. Chief?”
    “No,” the Chief replied. “Just . . . just help me up . . . and let me get out of here before any more of those booby traps go off.”
    Max and 99 assisted the Chief in getting to his feet, then walked to the door with him.
    “The tickets are in here,” the Chief said, handing 99 an envelope. “Don’t miss that train.”
    “Don’t worry, Chief.”
    Max opened the door. “Sure you wouldn’t like to take a doggy bag of toast and coffee with you?” he said.
    “Yes, I’m pretty sure about that,” the Chief replied. He stepped out into the corridor. “Don’t forget, now—we’ll be waiting for that signal at headquarters.”
    “Got it,” Max nodded. “So long, Chief,” he said, starting to close the door.
    “Oh . . . and drop in anytime, Chief!” 99 called.
    “No, 99!” Max said.
    From the corridor came the sound of a crash. Then the Chief could be heard expressing himself in a way that indicated a certain degree of dissatisfaction with current conditions.
    “What happened?” 99 asked Max, baffled.
    “That’s a booby trap I forgot to tell you about,” Max explained. “Never say ‘Drop in anytime’ to anyone who’s leaving, 99. That particular phrase trips a trap door in the corridor.”
    99 looked, horrified, at the closed door. The Chief’s complaints could still be heard—but much more faintly now. “Max, we better do something!”
    “That’s been taken care of,” Max informed her, turning away. “The trap door opens into a doctor’s office on the ground floor. By now, the Chief is in good hands.”

2.
    M AX AND 99 spent the rest of the morning packing. It took considerable time because they were not sure where they were going. As the Chief had pointed out, the train might take the KAOS assassins only on the first leg of the trip to the meeting site. Consequently, Max and 99 might end up in the South, the North, the East or the West. So, they packed fur parkas, tennis shorts, ski boots, sandals, ear muffs and swim suits, and so forth and so on. Just guessing, Max speculated that their baggage weighed seven tons. As a result, they left it where it was—in the living room, kitchen, up the stairs, and in the bedroom—tossed a change of underwear into a manila envelope and left for the train station.
    They had no trouble locating the train once they reached the station. It had both a number—one-thousand-four-hundred-seventy-six—and a name—The Miami Beach Local.
    “Doesn’t this train go to New York?” Max asked the conductor as he and 99 climbed aboard.
    “That’s right—it doesn’t,” the conductor, a fat, jolly-looking man with a white beard, replied. “We’re still on the winter schedule. All trains—including New York trains—go to Miami Beach.”
    “That’s the first thing about this case that’s made sense,” Max said to 99, leading the way along the corridor to their compartment. “You know who ought to be running this country? The same people who manage the railroads. There’s an old saying: What’s good for the St. Louis,