Get Smart 9 - Max Smart and the Ghastly Ghost Affair Read Free

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    “You were diving across the coffee table, Chief,” Max told him. “And very gracefully, too—considering, of course, that you weren’t prepared for it.”
    “I mean where was I in the briefing?”
    “Oh. Well, you’d just told us that the KAOS assassins won’t be wearing badges.”
    “That’s right,” the Chief nodded. “I can’t suggest any way to identify them. They’ll probably look like common ordinary everyday people. But, somehow, you’ll have to locate them on that train, and then follow them wherever they go. That’s the important thing. We have to find out where that meeting is being held.”
    “Chief, there’s an easier way, you know,” Max said.
    “There is—how?”
    “Well, we know the assassins will be on the train,” Max said. “So, why don’t we just take all the passengers into custody and re-educate them all? That way, we’d be bound to get the assassins.”
    “Max . . . I’m afraid that would get us into a bit of trouble.”
    “How? Who would tell? All the passengers would be re-educated. They wouldn’t know what happened to them.”
    “No, Max, we can’t do that,” the Chief said. “Besides, it wouldn’t be a guarantee of success. You see, it’s Arbuthnot we really want the most. He knows more about assassination than any man alive. If we could snare him and then relieve him of all that information— Well, obviously, it would be a great day for Control.”
    “That makes my idea all the better,” Max said. “If we took all the passengers into custody, we’d get Arbuthnot, too. How could we miss?”
    “Max, we’re not sure that Arbuthnot will be on the train. The KAOS communication we intercepted ordered all the U.S. assassins to take that train, but there was no mention of Arbuthnot. He might be flying to the meeting place. Or hitchhiking, for all we know.”
    Max sighed. “Okay, I guess we’ll have to do it the hard way,” he said. “Now, let me get it straight. We board the train and then we come back here to the apartment. After—”
    “Max, no!” the Chief broke in. “Why come back here to the apartment?”
    “To get the tickets,” Max replied. “I always forget the tickets.”
    “I’ll take the tickets, Max,” 99 said. “After all, what’s a wife for?”
    “Okay,” Max said. “We board the train and we locate the KAOS assassins. We stay with them until they arrive at the meeting place, then we go to the nearest telephone—”
    “No, Max,” the Chief interrupted again.
    “You’re right, Chief. We locate them, then I call you on my shoe phone. Then—”
    “No, Max,” the Chief said.
    “Do we locate them?” Max asked.
    “Yes, that part is correct,” the Chief nodded. “But it probably won’t be possible for you to telephone me. KAOS has developed a communications neutralizer. It can make all the normal means of communication for miles around inoperative. They will undoubtedly have a communications neutralizer at the meeting place. So, you will not be able to phone me or telegraph me.”
    “I could write you a letter,” Max suggested.
    “These days, it would take too long to reach me.”
    “Smoke signals?”
    “No, Max. But there is a way.” The Chief got what looked like a coin from his pocket and handed it to Max. “What does this look like?” he said.
    Max scrutinized it closely for a second. “A penny?”
    “Yes . . . but what kind of a penny, Max?”
    Max turned the coin over and over. “An Indian-head penny?” he guessed.
    “Max, look closer.”
    “Oh, yes . . . I see . . .” Max said after a second. “That’s not an Indian, is it? It’s . . . now, don’t tell me—I know him. I’ve seen him in old newsreels . . . wearing that Indian head-dress. It’s . . . uh . . .” He shrugged. “I give up.”
    “Max, that’s a Coolidge-head penny,” the Chief said.
    “Sure! That’s right. How many of these did they mint, Chief?”
    “None!” the Chief replied. “That’s the only Coolidge-head penny