Funny Frank Read Free

his measurements — the length of his back,the breadth of his breast — and then they held the hot-water bottle up against him to try it on for size.

    With her dressmaking shears, Jemima's mother cut off the mouth of the bottle and cut right round the edges of it to make two rubber panels. “One for his front, one for his back,” she said,“and then I'll stick them together.”
    “Remembering,” said Ted, “to leave a hole at the end for his head and neck tostick out. Oh yes, and two holes for his legs and another for his tail.”
    “What about his wings?” Jemima asked.
    “Oh yes, and two holes for his wings. He can use those to pull himself along through the water, like an oarsman. It won't matter if they get wet.”

    “Well, I can't guarantee,” said Jemima's mother, “that the finished article will be completely waterproof, of course, but it should keep most of him pretty dry.”
    Between the three of them they managed to hold a protesting Frank andplace the two rubber panels against him— front and back—testing for size.

    “It'll be miles too big,” Jemima said.
    “It will now,” said her mother, “but don't forget Frank's going to grow. And I'm not making him a whole lot of different-sized wet suits. This one will have to do.”
    “Let me know how you get on,” said the vet.“I must be off.”
    Carrie Tabb had never before set out to make a wet suit for a chicken, but before long Frank was having his first fitting so that she could see exactly where to make the holes for neck, wings, legs, and tail. This done, the two panels of the oldhot-water bottle were put on Frank, front and back, and then the two halves were stuck together with superglue.

    At first Frank protested loudly at the treatment he was receiving, but once the finished wet suit was finally fitted on him, he seemed to be quite pleased with himself and walked about and flapped his wings and shouted, “Frank!” in a loud voice.

    Later, whenTom Tabb had finished milking his cows, he called his brother, the vet.
    “What time will you finish at your office, Ted?” he asked.
    “About four, I hope.”
    “Well, come on over then. We're going to try out Frank's new suit.”
    “On the duck pond?”

    “Yes. Seeing as it was your crazy idea, you'd better come to the ceremony. You're invited to the launch of Frank.”
    So, later, the four Tabbs stood at the edge of the duck pond, wet-suited Frank in Jemima's arms. Around the pond Frank's brothers and sisters were standing, and Gertie and Mildred, and all the other hens of the flock, and the big cockerel. They knew something was going tohappen because gossipy Mildred had told them. On the water the ducks and their ducklings cruised.
    Now Jemima, in her wellies, waded out into deeper water and carefully lowered Frank onto the surface and let go of him.

    He floated.
    Loudly, the ducks on the pond quacked in amusement. A chicken that floated— weird!

    Around the rim the hens squawked in amazement and the big cockerel gave a loud crow of surprise, while Frank's brothers and sisters scampered up and down in excitement.
    “He's swimming!” gasped Gertie to Mildred as she gazed upon her wet-suited son.
    “Well, not exactly, dear,” replied Mildred. “He's floating, certainly, but he'snot going anywhere much. He'd have to have webbed feet for that.”
    Frank was indeed trying to swim. He bashed on the water with his wings and he kicked about with his legs, but neither method propelled him very far. It was plain that Mildred was right, and the watching Tabbs came to the same conclusion.

    “You said he'd pull himself along with his wings like an oarsman,” said Jemima to her uncle,“but he can hardly move.”
    “He's too heavy with all that gear on,” said her father, and then farmer and vet said with one voice, “He needs webbed feet.”
    “Right,” said Jemima's mother. “Then it's back to the drawing board!”

Chapter Six
    “We can't just leave him there, floating