Free Agent Read Free Page A

kids will make you deal with bullshit that you never thought you would deal with. It will make you lay next to a person you don’t love or even like. You would die for your kids. You would stick around just so your kids could feel normal, loved and cared for and not abandoned by you.” 
    That was deep. Uncle never shared anything like that with me before. We hung out but I always did all the talking. Uncle was really private, closed off and bossy. The fact that I was aware of him and Kari was a milestone in our relationship.
    “RJ, thanks for the heads up.”
    “Of course. Uncle, I got your back. La famiglia è la prima .” My Italian was pretty good thanks to my high school Italian language teacher Mrs. Mancuso.
    “Yes, family is first.” Uncle forced a smile and shuffled pass me with his head down. He disappeared through the short hall that led to the backroom. I heard him knock on the backroom door.
    “Kari, open up. It’s me.” I heard Uncle yell from the hall. Kari unlocked the door and I heard it open and close.
    I was so glad I didn’t have to deal with any of this adult bullshit. I was cool with hanging with my crew and banging a few hotties.
    I had a threesome to look forward to after work tonight. I just hope my moms stays out of my business. She’s always busting my balls. She’s always showing up at my door with outlandish requests. RJ, pick up my dry cleaning. RJ go pick your cousin up from the airport. RJ go walk the neighbor’s dog.
    Just because I live in the apartment above the garage doesn’t mean she should knock on my door and ask me to go buy her ice-cream, go pick my bratty sister up from the movies, go the city hall and pay the friggin’ water bill. The list goes on and on. I should move off her property.
    This sudden brush with almost being caught didn’t make Kari run from the hills. It was at least an hour before she emerged from the backroom. She was well put together. Sure I knew my uncle had her bent over and put six or seven rounds in her but there was no way anyone else could tell. Uncle walked Kari to the door and he gave me a show. He tongued her down right in front of me, just slobbed her up. Show off! Yeah I’m jealous. Uncle Mason has the biggest balls I ever seen. I could learn a thing or two from him.
     
     
    CHAPTER 2
     
    Work couldn’t end fast enough for me. I was going to give Selena and Teresa my big fat Italian sausage. I went straight to the carwash after work. I washed my Ford Mustang about three to four times a week. I use to hand wash it myself but my moms was always complaining about the water bill. So now I take it to the professionals. Sometimes I run into some thirsty cougars at the carwash so it’s all good.
    Soon as I pulled into the driveway my phone vibrated. It was my friend Ronnie. He had texted me a few times after I left the job but I wasn’t trying to hang out with any dick tonight but my own.
    I hadn’t been in my crash pad for forty full minutes when someone was knocking on my friggin’ door. Geez, can I scratch my balls first? I had a feeling that behind door number one was my pesky friend Ronnie. When I opened the door it was just as I suspected, runny nose Ronnie aka R.N.R. That was his nickname from second grade.
    “Hey, hey RJ how’s it hanging?” Ronnie pushed his way through the door and made a beeline straight to my small kitchen and into my empty fridge.
    I started hiding all my liquor from my free loading pals a few months ago. I don’t know why these cheap ass guido bastards think I’m a friggin’ bar and grill.
    I had known Ronnie practically my whole life well since kindergarten. He was a scrawny kid with asthma and he grew up to be a scrawny man with asthma. Ronnie was the kid that didn’t fit in with the crew. Sure he was Italian but he was pale as a ghost. He was the only one in my crew that wasn’t muscular. He got girls but not with his body.
    “What you getting into tonight?”
    “Hashtag, Mexican pussy, at