Excalibur Read Free

was your foot in the bucket in the first place?’ said Brat.
    â€˜Bukkit sleep on my foot to stop bukkit theefs stealing her,’ said Scraper.
    â€˜Right.’
    â€˜Bukkit theefs come in night and kidsnaps bukkits, erryone noes that.’
    â€˜Today we will rest,’ Brat announced. ‘And tomorrow we will begin to make plans.’
    â€˜Ooh, I like them.’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Plans,’ said Scraper. ‘Specially the red ones cos they got the sweetest, but be careful not swallow stones.’
    â€˜That’s plums, you idiot.’
    â€˜You make some tomorrow?’
    Brat walked into the shadows at the back of the cave and hit his head against a rock until he felt a bit less desperate.
    â€˜You too, eh?’ said a voice in the darkness.
    â€˜Who’s there?’ said Brat.
    â€˜That depends,’ said the voice.
    â€˜On what?’
    â€˜On who you are.’
    â€˜I am the real King Arthur,’ said Brat. ‘Or I was until last week, when everyone ganged up on me and pretended I wasn’t and installed a fake puppet on the throne.’
    â€˜I know,’ said the voice. ‘That puppet turned my dad into a jelly baby. Can you believe it, my dad, once the mighty King of Dragons, sworn enemy of allhumans, has formed an alliance with that puppet.’
    â€˜Are you a, umm, er, are you a dragon?’ said Brat, backing away from the darkness.
    â€˜I am indeed,’ said the voice. ‘I am Bloat, son of Spikeweed, once the greatest Dragon King who ever lived, but now as noble as a baby rabbit in a nappy. Alliance with humans, I ask you. No offence.’
    â€˜None taken,’ said Brat. ‘But listen. It seems to me that we are on the same side.’
    â€˜But you’re a human,’ said Bloat, ‘and I’m a dragon. We’re supposed to be enemies.’
    â€˜True,’ said Brat, ‘but it seems as if right now, we both want the same thing. I mean, if I was King again, I can assure you there would be no treaties with any dragons.’
    â€˜I likes treaties,’ said Scraper. ‘Choccy-covered nuckles are best treaties. I likes them.’
    â€˜Shut up,’ said Brat and Bloat at the same time.
    â€˜So what are you going to do about it?’ said Bloat. ‘How are you going to get the throne back?’
    â€˜I am going to do a revolution.’
    â€˜Well, I know I said dragons making alliances with humans was against nature,’ said Bloat, ‘but maybethat’s exactly what you and I should do. You know, just until you got the throne back again, only temporary.’
    â€˜Yes, temporary would be all right,’ said Brat, ‘just until I’m King again. Then we’d stop having the alliance and be enemies again.’
    â€˜Yeah,’ said Bloat. ‘Man against dragon again, just like the good old days.’
    â€˜Yeah.’
    â€˜ ’Cept you and me wouldn’t kill each other, would we?’ said Bloat.
    â€˜Oh no, not you and me, but all the other humans and dragons would start fighting each other again,’ said Brat. ‘You and me could have like a little treaty just for us that no one else knows about.’
    â€˜Can I have one?’ said Scraper.
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜A little treatie, chocolate one.’
    â€˜SHUT UP.’
    â€˜So where are your headquarters and your rebel army and all your weapons?’ said Bloat. ‘I mean, when’s it all going to happen?’
    â€˜This is the headquarters. Here,’ said Brat.
    â€˜And the army?’
    â€˜We’re still recruiting.’
    â€˜Weapons?’
    â€˜Look at all these rocks,’ said Brat. ‘They’re my secret weapon.’
    â€˜Secret?’
    â€˜Yes, because the enemy won’t realise they’re weapons,’ said Brat. ‘They’ll think they’re just rocks.’
    â€˜They are just rocks,’ said Bloat.
    â€˜I know. Brilliant,