Excalibur Read Free Page B

dragon.’
    At which Bloat leapt out from behind the tree, blowing flames. The bag of hay tied to the horse’s bridle caught fire.
    â€˜Ooh, I’m really scared now,’ said the coachman. ‘Burning grass.’
    â€˜Well, I’ve got another weapon,’ said Brat.
    â€˜Oh yeah, what’s that then, a catapult?’
    â€˜No, a big strong moron,’ said Brat as Scraper came out from behind the tree.
    As Scraper lumbered towards them, he tripped over a discarded turnip and went crashing into the coach, totally demolishing one of the back wheels. The coach teetered and then the whole thing went crashing over on its side. The coachman’s gun was thrown out of his hand and, by a wonderful piece of luck, was thrown into Brat’s hand.
    â€˜OK,’ said Brat. ‘Like I said, your money or your life.’
    There were three passengers inside the coach and luckily none of them had guns, but they did have quite a lot of money and jewellery and a very big sack of delicious pig’s trotters and cabbages. They threw everything out and Scraper collected it all up while Bloat marched up and down blowing flames.
    â€˜Why would you want my wife?’ said one of the passengers, who was rather deaf.
    â€˜What?’ said Brat.
    â€˜You said your money or your wife,’ said the passenger.
    â€˜No. I said your…’ Brat began, but the passenger’s wife ran across and put her hand over his mouth.
    â€˜Don’t say a word,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve been waiting for an opportunity like this for years.’
    â€˜Oh, oh,’ she shouted, raising her hands in the air. ‘Help, help, I am being abducted. What do you mean, you’ll kill me if I don’t help you tie everyone up?’
    Brat stood open-mouthed as the woman took the rope that had been holding the luggage on top of the coach and tied up the coachman and other passengers. When she’d blindfolded them, she took Brat aside.
    â€˜I am the Lady Monaco d’Asparagus,’ she said. ‘If you ever need somewhere to hide, come to me at the Castle Asparagus.’
    â€˜Oh, oh, woe is me,’ she shouted. ‘How could you be so cruel to a lady as to take me away into this deep dark forest?’ And she slipped away into the trees.
    Just as the highwaymen were about to follow her into the forest, a troop of soldiers came round the bend. Hearing the approaching horses, the coachman began shouting and the soldiers galloped towards the robbers at top speed.
    â€˜Quick,’ shouted Brat, scrambling on to theyoung dragon’s back. ‘Quick, Bloat, fly us out of here.’
    A small dragon carrying a boy, a big idiot and a sack full of food and money does not soar into the sky like an eagle. Bloat lumbered down the road, flapping his wings like mad, but just could not get off the ground.
    â€˜Come on, flap harder,’ Brat cried, but it was no good.
    Brat grabbed the sack and gave Scraper a kick so he fell off onto the road. That, and the sound of bullets whistling around their heads, was the extra impetus Bloat needed. He soared up into the air and away over the trees.
    â€˜What about Scraper?’ he said when they reached the cave.
    â€˜Plenty more where he came from,’ said Brat. ‘And look, we’ve got a gun, some gold and jewels and a lovely bag of food. Pretty good for a first attempt, I reckon.’
    â€˜Maybe, and this is only a thought,’ said Bloat, ‘maybe we should kind of forget about the rebellion and just be highwaymen.’
    â€˜We could, couldn’t we?’ said Brat. ‘I mean,robbing from the citizens of Avalon is rebellion anyway, isn’t it?’
    â€˜Yeah.’
    â€˜And that crazy lady who ran away has given me an idea,’ said Brat. ‘I think next time we should actually kidnap someone and hold them for ransom. That will really annoy everyone.’
    â€˜Yeah, and we could roast them and send