Lina’s, telling us to behave ourselves.
Inside Lina’s bedroom I pull off the jumper Mum made me put on. We dance around the room, drinking cans of Diet Coke filled with the last of the Sneaky Vodka. When we’re finally ready we walk to the party. Of course I was lying when I told Mum her parents would be home; the only reason this party is even happening is because they’ve gone away. It’s huge, already, and the music is so loud it’s only a matter of time before the neighbours call the police. We hand over cash to Rae’s boyfriend, who gives us the alcohol we ordered, then he and Rae take off.
Several shots later Gen, Lina and I are standing around the blender, arguing about how to make a Pina Colada when Gen nudges me. I follow her gaze. Tan-nee and Tai. They’re heading our way and I know what Gen is thinking because I’m thinking it too. Now is the perfect time, if there ever is such a thing.
‘You ready?’ Gen whispers.
‘Maybe. I think I need another drink first.’
Lina hands me a shot glass of something pink and as I swallow it she calls out, ‘Tanya, help us with the cocktails, yeah?’
Tanya looks surprised, but Lina is so nice to everyone that when she asks for help you can’t refuse, even if you want to.
I pour another shot into a sticky glass and say to Tai, ‘Come outside.’
The noise isn’t quite as deafening in the backyard, but it’s freezing, and if my mind wasn’t on another planet I’d be wishing I had my jumper. We’re both swaying slightly and his eyes are shiny, like they get after a few drinks, and it’s easier if we lean on the wall, side by side.
‘You okay, Juliet?’
‘Um, yeah. Here – drink this.’ I offer him the glass and he brushes my fingers with his as he takes it.
‘God, you’re freezing. Why do you girls always freeze yourselves?’ Without asking, he puts his arm around me and pulls me closer. I rest my head on his shoulder, deciding that not saying something is worse than the alternative. He’s staring off into the distance, watching people coming and going from the house, not saying anything. He finishes the drink, puts the glass on the windowsill.
‘Tai?’ He turns to me, but suddenly I’m not brave enough to look him in the eye. He’s watching me, and I wonder what he sees. Do I look different with my black hair and nose stud, or does he just see the same old Juliet he’s always known?
‘Juliet?’ His fingers brush past my cheek and stay there, making me look up at him. ‘What is it?’
I take a deep breath. ‘I like you, Tai. I mean, I really like you. And I know you’ve got a girlfriend, and I probably shouldn’t have said anything because I don’t want things to get weird – it’s okay with me if you just want to pretend I never said anything. But yeah. Just so you know.’
I close my eyes and put my head back on his shoulder, partly because that last shot is making everything spin, but mostly because I don’t want to see Tai’s face right now. I can feel it though, sliding along mine – and then he’s kissing me and I’m kissing him back. It goes on and on and it’s never felt like this, ever, and I want it to last forever, but then Gen is beside me talking, and when I finally start to listen I realise what she’s saying: Tanya came looking for Tai. And she saw us.
‘Shit.’ Tai goes off to find her.
I wait for him, the cold seeping through my clothes, until it finally dawns on me that he’s not coming back. And I wonder why he chose her instead of me? Why he went looking for her, when I was right there.
Tai
I don’t really know why I’m walking around the streets at midnight, looking for Tanya. I guess I feel like an arse, you know? Here’s my secret, though – I don’t want the one I’m with. I don’t want to be with Tanya, not really. I want Juliet. She’s beautiful, even when Gen’s convinced her to dye her hair some random colour or when she’s cranky on Monday mornings at the bus