Every Girl Does It Read Free

which could be construed as stalking, but my curiosity i s eating me alive. Yes! Found it, Nampa F irehouse, click.
    Oh be still my rapid ly beating heart . T h ey have a calendar for a suggested donation of only ten dollars! Plus , it ’s for charity! Who wouldn’t buy the calendar ? Of course, he ’ s Mr. December . Merry Christmas , Amanda. My strict Nazarene grandma is probably rolling in her grave , not that I didn’t give her enough reasons to be in that grave wh ile she was living . What with my dancing and going to movies. She was a dear , sweet lady who I ’ m thankful now, is with her Lord. I ’ m silently praying to God that H e is the only one who c an actually hear my thoughts. Amen . And, girls , if you can see this, A-M-E-N.
    You could do laundry on his abs. Is he airbrushed? How can abs look this way? His chest is perfectly chiseled, like God cut him out of a mountain . Those green eyes a ren’t eve n his best feature. His h air is so thick and glossy , it should have its own Facebook page, and I would easily be the number one fan.
    I need to refocus . W here is his name? I s croll do wn to the bottom of the page and see “ s taff ” . I click and pray it w ill be the correct i nformation. Moving down the page again , I see his picture and click on it. They have stats right next to the names . Wait . No. Well, I just almost swallow ed my tongue – didn’t know it was possible, but here you see it documented . I t almost happened to a perfectly healthy twenty-seven year old , a nd my parents would have found me in my apartment , asphyxiated on the floor with my computer screen opened up to a hot fireman. The shame would be unbearable . My poor par ents would be humiliated and have to lie to everyone about how they found me.
    There ’ s no way it could actually be him . The irony would be to o perfect. I have to look closer to confirm my eyes aren't deceiving me . With a sinking feeling , I remember him when he had braces, ugly sweater vests , and too thick glasses.
    It ’ s Preston , and the memories of egging his house more than once during high school hit me full force. I remember him holding my hand with those sweaty palms as he asked me to prom in front of the entire school. Right now the only one with sweaty palms is me! Oh, no . I turned him down. The sad part is, if he ’ d ask me now , I ’ d say yes.
    A t the time , it was more important for me to look cool . So I said, in front of everyone, “ T hanks , but I’m already going with my cousin , Brad ” . I don’t even have a cousin named Brad . Just wait. It gets worse . H e showed up at p rom with his sister, saw me dancing and kissing another guy, and , I’m sure , assumed I probably wasn’t that close with my family.
    Ladies, l et this be a lesson. P e ople always say you need to be nice to nerds , because you might e nd up working for them some day. T he same goes for nerdy guys who ask y ou out . Y ou should be nice to t hem , because one day they might be smoking hot.

Chapter Two
     
    As women , I ’ m sure we can all agree that when we see a man who se gorgeous, cut , and confident , we automatically assume he ’ s arrogant . So the natural road to take is search for the one that ’ s slightly unfortunate looking with the hope that his personality makes up for any other deficiencies. We wouldn’t have this assumption if we didn’t have good reason. Few men are as attractive on the inside as the outside.
    One time I dated a guy who , for anonymitie ’ s sake, we ’ll call Bob , and he was eye candy . We met at the gym. Bob and I were running next to each other on treadmills . His towel fell off the side of his treadmill , and I picked it up. It was love at first sight.
    Feel ing rather confident , I struck up a conversation. He asked for my number , and two nights later he called . We went to a fancy restaurant t hat weekend, and I fell in love for about five minutes. He ordered for both of us, without asking. “Yes ,