Dumb Clucks Read Free Page A

“I’ll be watching. I want you to get the school calm and quiet right now . And keep it calm and quiet from now till Parents’ Day.”
    â€œCalm and quiet. No prob,” I said, saluting him again.
    Upchuck shoved me out the door and slammed it behind me.
    As I fought off the dogs, my brain was flipping and flopping.
    Headmaster Upchuck wanted me to fail . He couldn’t wait to pack my bags and send me home.
    But he also gave me an excuse to raise as muchmoney as I could.
    Dollar signs floated in front of my eyes. MANY, MANY dollar signs.
    Hey! There’s gotta be a way to cash in on the Stupid Chicken craze and make lots of money, I told myself. There’s gotta be a way…
    Suddenly I had an idea.

Chapter 7
H ATCH Y OUR O WN
    The next night all my friends sat in front of the TV again. And the cries of “BLUCK-GLUCK-LUCK-BLUCK” rang through Rotten House.
    â€œYo! Whussup!” I shouted. “I’ve got what you guys have been waiting for!”
    Headmaster Upchuck wanted me to raise refreshment money. Well, he picked the right dude for the job. I carried my big wooden crate into the room and set it down carefully in front of the TV.
    On the screen, Stupid Chicken was pecking the life out of an evil worm. The worm wore a blackcape. That’s how I knew it was evil.
    â€œBernie, you’re blocking the TV,” Crench groaned.
    â€œThis is better than TV,” I said. I pulled up the lid of the crate. “You dudes don’t want to sit and watch Stupid Chicken all day. You want to live the adventure, don’t you?”

    â€œWow! Awesome!” Feenman cried, pointing at the screen. “Stupid Chicken just pecked Wonder Wormboy in two. And now both worm halves are fighting Stupid Chicken!”
    â€œWonder Wormboy?” I said.
    â€œHe’s not really a worm,” Belzer said. “He’s a mutant who has the power to turn himself into a worm.”
    â€œGood choice,” I said.
    â€œKnow my favorite sandwich?” Beast said. “Worm butter and jelly.”
    Crench stared at him. “Where do you buy worm butter?” he asked.
    Beast chuckled. “You don’t buy it—you MAKE it!” he said. “The hard part is pulling it off the bottom of your shoe.”
    â€œDudes! Dudes!” I shouted. “Give me a break here!”

    I reached into the crate and pulled out an egg. I had 144 eggs, and I hoped I could sell them all.
    â€œGet your money ready,” I said. I held the egg up so they could look at it. “These are special. It’s Hatch Your Own Stupid Chicken !”
    That got their attention. They stared at the egg as if they were hypnotized.
    â€œSee this egg?” I said. “There’s a Stupid Chicken inside each one.”
    Nosebleed leaned forward on the couch and squinted at it. “There’s a Stupid Chicken in there? No joke?”
    â€œFive dollars,” I said. “Five dollars and you can hatch your own.”
    â€œBernie, give us a break,” Feenman said. “It’s just an egg. You can’t charge five dollars for an egg.”
    I gasped. “Feenman, you wouldn’t pay five dollars for Stupid Chicken?” I asked. “I thought you were a big fan.”
    â€œCan I ask you a question?” Billy the Brain asked.
    We call him Brain because he’s the smartest kid in our school. He has a solid C average. And his homework is never more than two weeks late.
    He’s a genius!
    â€œWhat’s your question, Brain?” I asked.
    â€œDo you have any Little Cluck-Clucks in there?”
    â€œNo prob,” I said. I held up another egg. “Here’s one. Hatch Your Own Little Cluck-Cluck. How many do you want, Brain?”
    â€œLemme SEE that!” Beast roared. He jumped up from his spot on the floor and tromped over to me.
    â€œGimme that!” He grabbed the egg from my hand. “Is there really a Stupid Chicken inside this