Dream New Dreams Read Free Page B

up to swallow you whole. The worst thing I could imagine at this time was one of the children having an ear infection. We couldn’t know that our journey as a family and as a couple was about to take a serious turn—one that would test us and threaten to break us. What we had going for us was our strong bond and a love built on trust and communication. I think back on how I hesitated to leave my old life in Chapel Hill to build a new life with Randy in Pittsburgh. It was the right thing to do—to think carefully about marriage, knowing with 20/20 vision how difficult it is to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s a decision I never regretted, even to this day.

Shattered Dreams
    I T WAS EARLY in the morning on Labor Day weekend, September 2006, when we received a phone call from our general practitioner; he was following up on a CT scan that had been done of Randy’s abdomen the previous day. The fact that the doctor would call us on a Saturday, much less a holiday weekend, didn’t bode well. The feeling I had was the same as when the phone rings at midnight—a big knot in the pit of my stomach. “What does the doctor want to talk to me about?” I asked Randy as he held out the phone for me.
    Though rarely sick, Randy had been feeling terrible for several weeks. We were trying to find the culprit for his mysterious symptoms: fatigue, weight loss, lack of appetite, floating stool. The obvious ailments, like flu, strep throat, hepatitis A, B, and C, had come back with negative test results.
    With Randy unable to get out of bed, I had been pulling the nightshift with the baby and the early-morning shift with the boys. Even having help with the kids during the week, I was getting run-down. Caring for the family, managing our house renovation project, and juggling several other commitments were beginning to take their toll. Like any couple, Randy and I had developed a routine, dividing the responsibilities and working with each other to keep the Pausch family train moving smoothly along its track.
    Our typical day started early as Dylan, age four and a half, and Logan, twenty-three months, woke up around six o’clock each morning. Since I was nursing the baby and got up with four-month-old Chloe throughout the night, Randy would get up with the boys and make breakfast. Dylan would often stand on a step stool and help Randy cook, enjoying the thrill of helping out in the kitchen by breaking or scrambling eggs. Logan would play contently with toys until it was time to eat. After I came downstairs with Chloe, we would have breakfast together. Then Randy would get ready for work and start his day at the university.
    My primary responsibilities included the children and our house renovations. We were raising the roof on our ranch house in Pittsburgh to give us a little extra room as our family grew. At this time, I was picking out fixtures, from plumbing items to tile, as well as tweaking the design. We were working with a great building contractor and architect who did all the heavy lifting and were very trustworthy, but I still needed to decide on the details, like the location of light switches and the number and location of outlets in a room. I also oversaw a wonderful nanny, Amy Samad, who helped me with the children and their activities. Amy gave me the opportunity to sit down every once in a while and not run myself ragged. With doctor visits, preschool, child-centered activities like musicclasses, and household management, there was more than enough work to go around. Just keeping up with laundry and meals for three little ones under the age of five took up hours every day.
    While I assumed the domestic responsibilities, Randy managed the family finances, taking care of bills and taxes. He also liked to suggest and arrange our travel, usually getting us to go with him on trips where the family would enjoy the location. Whenever he consulted with Walt Disney Company, Inc., we would try to go along. My part of the