Don't You Remember Read Free

affection for years. It’s like I’m not even there, as if they never had me. Days go by where we don’t even see or speak to each other.
    Still sitting in the chair waiting for Johnny I began to twirl my long brown hair for no reason. I’m wearing blue fitted jeans with a navy blue camisole tank top and an opened flannelette shirt with a pair of tatty converse trainers, but they look acceptable, worn to death, loved much and very lived in. I should think about saving up for a new pair.
    I have the greatest desire to run sometimes, run somewhere, anywhere. I tell Johnny how much I want to run because he knows the feeling too. We’ve talked about what will happen when we leave here and whatever our plans are, they generally consist of never coming back. Johnny will make it as a big rock star and perhaps I’ll be a singer. If not a singer, then I’ll go to college and get a degree and really be something, maybe a lawyer or journalist.
    “You all right, kiddo?” Johnny asked as he walked over to me. He had changed into his jeans and t-shirt and was ready to leave.
    “Yes, I’m fine,” I say unconvincingly.
    “You want to talk about it?”
    “No.” I usually tell him everything, but how can I tell him I saw him with a girl today and had discovered I might have feelings for him? Best to keep those feelings to myself in case he doesn’t feel the same way. But what if he does? I look down at my thin self and think there is no way he would find me attractive, especially compared to the blonde he was with today.
    “Come on, kiddo, let’s go,” he said putting his arm around my shoulders loosely as he casually waved bye to his boxer friends.
    We walked down Russell Street with Johnny’s arm sitting comfortably around my shoulders. I liked the way it made me feel, and wanted to return the gesture by putting my arm around his waist but wasn’t sure how he’d react.
    “Johnny. When I was working at Branner’s today I saw you walking down Russell Street.”
    “Oh yeah, why didn’t you come and say hello?” he asked, squeezing one of my shoulders playfully.
    “I don’t know, I thought about it but then you seemed to be preoccupied with some blonde girl,” I confided, fishing for further information.
    “Samantha Bison,” he said, giving her a name.
    “You looked really happy together.”
    “She’s a fun girl, I like her.”
    “Are you going out?”
    “You mean officially?”
    “Yes.”
    “If you mean did I ask her to go out with me, then no, I didn’t ask her officially.”
    “But do you want to?”
    “Yeah, sure, why not?” he said casually as if he hadn’t given it a lot of thought. “What do you want to do tonight?” he asked, changing the subject.
    “Hang out, I guess. You? Are you thinking lake?”
    “That’s fine, I don’t mind.”
    “What about Samantha, will she want to come?”
    “I don’t know, I can call her when I get home.”
    “OK. Whatever,” I shrugged, not wanting Johnny to know I was jealous. How could I continue to be friends with him without telling him how I really felt?
    “I don’t have to ask her, kiddo,” he said looking down at my face and wondering what the matter was.
    “It’s up to you,” I said dismissively. “Whatever you think is best.”

 
     
    CHAPTER THREE
     
    Johnny and I parted ways when we reached home. Johnny lives in a state owned house directly next door to mine. Our houses are almost identical, except that they are mirror images of each other, meaning my bedroom window faced Johnny’s. We’ve been known to have the odd conversation perched by our windows or even sitting on the window frames.
    I opened the front door with my house key and walked into my dark home, straight into the horseshoe shaped kitchen, with cheap wooden panelled cupboards, a white cooker with oven and white refrigerator, often half empty. The kitchen window is embellished with doily-looking net curtains for privacy, but we don’t get very many visitors here, only