Divine Read Free Page B

drugs to do it. Or maybe she'd skip seeing Charlie, get the drugs, and be lost to the world in an hour.
    Emma took a step back. "Bye." The word was quiet, empty.
    The white-haired woman looked over her shoulder, and their eyes met. "They'll be just fine. Go ahead to your appointment."
    Emma didn't want an appointment. She wanted a fix—and fast. Why was she here, anyway? She took another step back and nodded. "Thank you. I ... I won't be long."
    "Take your time. Leah phoned up from the front desk." The woman smiled. "Mary's waiting for you."
    Mary Madison.
    That was the reason she'd come, wasn't it? Several days ago when Charlie had exploded at her, she'd been desperate for help, desperate for something that would take her and the girls out of the apartment and away from his rage. When he was finished with her, Charlie did what he often did. He sped away and left her moaning on the floor, the girls screaming from their bedroom.
    Then she'd taken the girls and gone to stay with a friend, but it was hardly a healthy atmosphere. Her friend sold crack, and Emma spent most of the next four days as high as a kite. She knew that if she stayed there, she'd overdose for sure, and if she went back to Charlie he'd kill her. So this morning, she'd grabbed the yellow pages. She found the heading Abuse Shelter and dialed the number before she had time to think.
    After an initial discussion with a staff counselor, she had an appointment with Mary. The Mary Madison.
    Emma turned and headed down the hallway. Mary was the reason she'd come. Everyone in the country knew Mary Madison's story—at least the public details. The woman was always in the news, gaining ground for the city's downtrodden. She was powerful and beautiful, a survivor. No question something had turned life around for Mary, and Emma was curious. But now . . . with her girls safe, the other possibility—getting enough drugs to end it all—loomed even more tempting than meeting Mary Madison.
    The door was ten feet away. She had twenty bucks in her pocket. She could buy some cheap crack, take it in an alley somewhere, and be dead in an hour. Her breathing came quicker, shallower, and somewhere deep in her chest her heart skittered into a rhythm too fast to feel.
    Do it, Emma . . . end it all. You're worthless. No one needs you.
    She put her hands over her ears. The voices had left her alone all morning, but they were back. She gave a quick shake of her head. "Stop!" She hissed the word and waited.
    Your girls are better off without you. . . . Leave and don't look hack, Emma. Crack's as close as a cab ride away. . . .
    Her hands were damp with sweat, and she wiped them across her jeans.
    Don't waste time, Emma. Go! The voice was shouting at her, laughing at her.
    Fine.
    No one needed to tell her the obvious. She would go, and • she would take three times the crack she'd ever taken before. No more terrifying nights, no more hiding in the closet with Kami and Kaitlyn, no more longing for a man who couldn't love her without hurting her. She could take the drugs, and an hour from now there would be no more missing her mother and Terrence and the life she'd left behind. No more nightmares or drugs or voices in her head. No more danger for her girls.
    Never mind about Mary Madison. She walked to the door and gripped the steel bar.
    "Emma?"
    She turned and tried to grab a full breath. It was a young woman, a girl no older than twenty. "Yes?"
    The girl smiled and held out her hand. "I'm Leah Hamilton. I work at the front desk."
    "Oh." Her throat was so dry she barely squeaked the word out. What was the girl doing, stopping her? Emma ran her tongue along the inside of her lips. "Okay."
    "You aren't. . . leaving, are you?" Leah looked down at Emma's hand still on the door. "Mary's expecting you." She smiled. "She's looking forward to meeting you."
    Air, that's what she needed. She pushed the door open a crack and sucked in a partial breath. The whole time she kept her eyes on Leah's.