5 Tutti Frutti Read Free

Pick me up at eight-thirty, you mind if I call and reserve a table?”
    “Reserve a table?”
    “Of course that figures, clueless. Okay, I’ll set it up, don’t worry. See you tomorrow at eight-thirty.”
    I hung up the phone and began to worry.
    ***
    I arrived at Heidi’s stylishly late. She tore open the front door just before I rang the doorbell.
    “You were supposed to be here twenty-five minutes ago. God, I’ll have to call them from your car and make sure they hold the table. Come on,” she said and rushed passed me.
    I stood on the steps and stared for a moment then regained my composure. “What the hell are you wearing, and what in God’s name did you do to your hair?”
    “Like it? It’s just a wig I got this morning,” she said, standing at the curb waiting for me to open the car door.
    The wig was fire-engine-red with a purple stripe running down the center of her skull. She looked like some sort of freaked-out skunk. She had on a revealing top, at least I think it was on. It had two large swirls of black sequins illuminating her chest. She had squeezed into a tight, black skirt about the width of my belt. A garter belt extended three inches below what served as a hem and was clipped to black stockings. The stockings had a seam that ran up the back of her leg. She had some sort of silver-studded thing wrapped three or four times around her waist.
    “Is that the new outfit you were going to get? Y ou look like Betty Page on an acid trip. Planning to pole dance in that?”
    “Shut up.”
    “What’s with the costume? Is that nose ring real?”
    “No stupid, just open the door okay. God, we’re late. By the way, what happened to the side of your car? It looks like someone sprayed graffiti on it. ”
    I could have stood there and explain ed how Rose went ballistic after a slight misunderstanding a few weeks back and sprayed painted “asshole” along the passenger side, but why get into it? Instead I said, “Just some kids being jerks, I had a pal buff it out.”
    “You might want to have him give it a second shot, I can still read it.”
    By the time I got behind the wheel she was on her phone. She glanced over at me as I turned the ignition. “I’m just going… Oh, hi, let me talk to Biker. Just tell him Heidi with the licorice ropes, yeah, right.”
    “Who are you calling?”
    “Just drive will you , Dev, God, we’re late as it is.”
    “What’s with the…”
    “Hello, Biker? Woof, woof, woof, grrrr. Yeah it is, thanks for remembering. Oh, yeah, right. Bad puppy. Hey, listen, we’re running late. What? No, I wish. But get this, I’m bringing a virgin.”
    “Virgin?” I said and glanced over at her.
    S he frantically waved her hand to indicate I should start driving. “Yeah, I thought you’d like that. Hey, I reserved the table up front in the fire base for the first show, but like I said we’re running late.” She shot me a glance as I pulled from the curb.
    “ What? No, don’t worry he’ll make it worth your while. Yeah, right, I might just hold you to that. See you in fifteen. Bye, bye, bye,” she said then stuffed the phone back into her purse; a little black leather thing with studs that matched whatever was wrapped round her waist.
    “What in the hell is going on?” I asked . Ten minutes later we were on the exit ramp off I-94 heading into downtown St. Paul. I turned to look at her again just as we blew through the yellow traffic light. I couldn’t help but stare at her barely covered chest. “Heidi, did you pierce your boobs?”
    “You like?” she giggled and pushed her chest out.
    “You’ve gone off the deep end. W hen did you get so, so I don’t know…”
    “O h will you relax, they’re clip-ons. Where’s your sense of adventure, Mister Dull and Boring?”
    “Clip-on s? What’s with you? I didn’t know there was a Halloween party at this place tonight.”
    She turned in the seat to face me. “Dev, are you dense? The Tutti Frutti, don’t you