5 Tutti Frutti Read Free Page B

leaned down and yelled in my ear, “Give Biker twenty bucks,” she shouted.
    “What?”
    “Biker, give him twenty bucks, he held our table.”
    I was about to say something in protest , but her glare had me reaching into my wallet for one of Louie’s twenties. Not bad, forty bucks and I hadn’t even sat down. I handed Biker the twenty then turned like Heidi had done so he could spank me. He did, the flake, and then raised his eyebrows two or three times before walking away. He glanced over his shoulder a few steps later and blew me a kiss.
    “He really likes you. S ee I told you this place was fun,” Heidi yelled in my ear.
    “Thanks for the warning,” I said , but she was already up the steps and settling into a table marked reserved.
    About three minutes after sitting down I was ready to admit there weren’t any bets being made in the place and we could leave. The noise was so loud I couldn’t think and the damn vibrations from the thumping base beat were so strong I was about to go into shell shock. I was afraid my PTSD might kick in.
    “Anytime you’re ready we can go,” I shouted into Heidi’s ear.
    She leaned back, smiled and shook her head no. A waitress made her way up the steps. At least I think she was a waitress. She was in some sort of skin-tight latex outfit looking like a crazed Cat Woman except the thing was unzipped to reveal about twelve inches of deep cleavage. I pegged her a good decade older than me and maybe a little over the weight limit for her latex. She wore the same belt with a night stick and handcuffs that the prison guard guy at the door had on. Plus, she had two bandoliers crisscrossed over her chest. Instead of cartridges, the bandoliers held test tubes with some sort of thick, golden liquid. She made a fluttery motion toward Heidi with her hands and then turned for the requisite spank.
    Heidi gave her two spanks then shrugged her shoulders and gave a little “aren’t we cute” sort of smirk.
    The waitress pulled one of the test tubes out and handed it to Heidi then held one out to me. I shook my head no and sort of waved her off. Heidi handed her empty back then grabbed the one I refused and quickly downed it. Then she pointed at me and mouthed the word “virgin”. The waitress nodded and leered down at me.
    I w aved her down to my level and yelled into her ear, “What kind of beer do you have?”
    I think she listed off a couple , but I couldn’t hear what she was saying so I just nodded. She turned to Heidi who grabbed another test tube out of her bandolier and downed the thing. The waitress waggled a disapproving index finger at her and giggled. Heidi placed some sort of drink order that apparently required a lot of gesturing with her hands.
    “Are you ready to go?” I asked a few minutes later.
    Heidi shook her head and said something , not that it made any difference, I couldn’t hear a damn thing. Ten minutes later our drinks arrived; my warm, flat beer and Heidi’s bird bath martini. I liked the Tutti Frutti Club even less, if that were possible.
    Th e noise stopped for a moment as a sort of elevated stage off to our left was illuminated. There was a fat, almost-naked, bald guy handcuffed to what looked like a medical examination table. I think it was our waitress who was waving what looked like a riding crop as she strutted around him. Occasionally, she would stop and slap him on the rear with the thing causing the crowd to cheer as he jumped. Heidi leaped to her feet and gave a shrill two fingered whistle, which prompted more whistling and shouts from the crowd. I looked at my watch.
    “You ’re no fun,” she yelled into my ear a few minutes later, “Just order me another drinky, party pooper. I’m almost finished with this one.”
    Since our waitress was taking a riding crop to the fat, bald guy up on stage, it took awhile to get someone’s attention. Eventually, another waitress struggled up the three steps to our table. As she turned so Heidi could