Different Senses Read Free

can
I say? Manly tears affect me that way.”
    “Huh. Some big bad tough cop
you are.”
    “Are you bringing the twins
next time? I want to see them.”
    “Maybe. We tried not to involve
them too much, especially when they weren’t sure...uh....”
    “If I would make it?”
    “Yeah. Are you up to the boys?
The doctor told us you were pretty much held together with spit and
goodwill.”
    My brother the vet tended to
forget human patients understood remarks like that. “Were you
supposed to tell me that? And yes, I can handle the boys. I want to
see them, and Tara.”
    Sorrow washed over me, shocking
me with the suddenness of it. Deep, aching misery and grief. I
covered my face, confused and heartbroken. What was I grieving
over?
    Yashi squeezed my shoulder.
“Javen? Javen, what’s wrong?”
    “Nothing,” I sobbed. “I’m
okay.”
    “You sound it. Let me find a
medic.”
    He got up and went to the door,
but as soon as he did, the sorrow passed as if it had never been,
leaving only a stuffy nose and a vague tightness in my chest.
“Wait, I’m fine. Yashi?”
    He’d stepped out, but I heard
his voice from a little way outside. Damn, if he called a medic
in....
    Yashi returned. “Sorry, there
was a man outside crying. I just wanted to see if he was okay.” He
stared at me. “Crying like you were.”
    “Coincidence. I’ve been up and
down.” But a cold dread filled me even as I said it. Could I really
have been affected by the emotions of a total stranger I couldn’t
even see?
    “That must be it. Look, do you
need anything? The medics said to keep it short and if Mum and Dad
are coming over, I don’t want to wear you out.”
    My crying jag had exhausted me.
“I know. Come back tomorrow?”
    “For sure. And with the kids.”
He bent and kissed my cheek. “Stay calm, rest.”
    “I will.” But the frisson of
fear I felt, scared me. Just whose fear was it?
    ~~~~~~~~
    I told myself my wildly
swinging moods were nothing more than a reaction to my injuries and
the shock of nearly dying. Even when I broke down in tears in front
of my parents because Mum did, Dad muttered something like, “No
need to be ashamed, son,” though he was embarrassed as hell. That
only made it worse.
    I mentioned the problem as
casually as I could to the doctors, and a charming lady
psychologist came and sat with me, talking about post traumatic
stress and near death experiences until I felt sane again, and
accepted the prescription for a mild sedative with relief that my
labile emotions were just a side-effect of my injuries. With the
help of drugs and determination, I feigned calm so well that Trilok
and Superintendent Ferir, coming to visit and bringing a video
message from the entire station house as well as a gag gift of a
bottle of virulent orange vitamin syrup, looked a little
stunned.
    “Never seen an officer this
cheerful about being shot before, Ythen,” my super said.
    “Better than being dead,” I
chirped. Trilok winced. “Docs say it’ll be a few weeks before I’m
ready for active duty, but don’t go giving my job away just yet,
sir.”
    “You worry about getting back
on your feet, sergeant, and leave operational matters to me. I’ve
assigned Constable Vimet a temporary partner, of course, but we’re
all looking forward to you coming back to work.”
    I gave him the thumbs up. “Good
as new, sir.”
    I think I scared him a little.
He told me brief details about the shooters and their deaths, but
wandered off to let me talk to Trilok in private shortly after.
    “ What the hell are they
giving you?” my partner asked as soon as we were alone. “Double
doses of larin ?”
    “Nope. Just determined to go
back to my job. No need to be so suspicious, Trilok.”
    He frowned. “How did you
know...? Are you sure you’re okay, sarge?”
    “Absolutely fine, bar a few
supernumerary holes.” I gave him the thumbs up again, but at his
puzzled look, I hid my hands under the covers. “Don’t go getting
slack