someone else. That was the problem,” Malcom’s voice was calm, but his tone was annoyed as he brushed her ebony hair away from her face. “But in the end, you always come back to me, Kim.”
“Isn’t there a saying about setting something you love free?” Kim wriggled under his gaze and looked away, her cheeks flushing. “And let’s face it, Mal. As good as we are together when we, well…” She blushed. “We aren’t actually good together. You need a girl who will be your whole world, and that’s just not me.”
“Kim, you are my whole world. I need you!” Malcom restrained the urge to shake the meaning into her. “Why don’t you understand that? I don’t care about all the other stuff…”
“But it didn’t feel that way. You were so far away, forever withholding, forever detached. I don’t know why I stayed as long as I did when we were both so clearly unhappy.” She looked up, a brittle, forced smile just touching her lips. “Besides, you were never really willing to let me in, to tell me what was going on with you.”
“I hear what you’re saying, but all it sounds like is an excuse for cheating on me all those times.” Malcom tried to swallow, but his mouth was so dry. “And here I am, playing the fool and still wanting you back.”
Kim met his gaze, her almond-colored eyes glistening with unshed tears. Malcom’s heart wrenched. He was hurting her, but he hadn’t meant to hurt her. He pulled her close, the urge to help, to comfort her overwhelming. Their bodies fit together like well-worn puzzle pieces, and for a moment, everything around him faded away. He leaned down and gently caressed her forehead with his lips.
He felt her pull away from him. She stared into his eyes and stepped backward. She continued to tiptoe backward, still locked in his gaze. Malcom felt his heart ache more with each step she took. She turned finally but looked back, throwing one last furtive glance in his direction. “Goodbye, Mal…”
Ian 01:01
Ian was hallucinating, surely. On his way to find Jesse, he had spotted Malcom and Kim arguing from the balcony. It was a little odd, not because Mal’s six-foot-plus frame towered over Kim’s five-foot-nothing one nor because Kim was Japanese, and Mal was pretty much the only African American student at their entire school.
No, it was because he was relatively sure the two hadn’t spoken since their breakup a few weeks ago. Since then, Mal had alternated between a sort of detached reality and blind hatred. It made reconciliation seem impossible, especially now that Kim had started dating their other friend, Caden. It was frustrating because even though part of him wanted to write Caden off, not just for being stupid enough to date Kim, but for helping her shatter their tiny group. Unfortunately, he couldn’t because Caden was the captain of Ian’s swim team and his actions weren’t exactly un-Caden-like.
Caden was best summed up by a story he often told. He had been making salsa one day, cutting up peppers and mixing them together in a bowl. Well, later that day he met a thin-waisted, big-breasted girl, whose waist seemed to become thinner in the same way her breasts became larger with each retelling. One thing had led to another when the girl suddenly screamed, “it burns!” and ran off to the bathroom. The moral of the story, he had said, was to always wash your hands, especially after making salsa.
Ian still remembered when the six of them had been all but inseparable. Sometimes they built a fire in one of the fire pits on the beach or swung on the swings. Occasionally, Jesse would break out his guitar and start singing. Ian remembered how, one night, several kids from another high school had come to the beach after their formal and listened to Jesse play his guitar for several songs before their limo driver called them back to the car.
It had been incredibly chilly that night, and most of his friends huddled around the fire. The cold never