bottle and spoon. She opens it, and tells me to have some, she feeds me the spoon, it tastes funny. After a while I start to feel sleepy.
I’m pulled out of my memories by someone calling me. It’s my dad “Sophia, are you okay? I’ve been calling you for the past few minutes?” He still has that worried look on his face, I hate causing him so much worry.
“Yeah dad, I’m just reminiscing of the day I was brought here.”
He has the biggest smile on his face “Yeah? It was the best day of my life.”
I walk up to him and give him a hug “Mine too, dad.”
I go upstairs to my old room, nothing has changed, it’s exactly the same way as I left it four years ago. I walk over to the bed and lie down. I turn my head to my left, sadness seeps in, it’s a picture of the five of us taken the very first Christmas I spent here. I again think back to that day, the day my life changed.
Lydia carries me upstairs; she walks down the long hall to a room near the end. “This will be your room, mine and Steven’s is just there.” She points to the door across the hall.
“Okay.” I don’t know what to say, I’m so confused. I have never, not once, had this kind of kindness in my life before.
“The room next to yours and the one across from it belong to my sons Luke and Scott; they are staying with Steven’s parents this weekend.” I just nod; I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I want to ask, but asking questions can get me hurt. I peer up at her and she is looking down at me with a smile. “What’s wrong Sophia?”
“Nothing.” I’m talking quietly; I don’t want her to get angry.
“Ok Sophia, hop into bed. I just want you to know that you’re safe here, you can talk to me.” I just stare at the floor, and then quickly scurry into the bed facing away from Lydia. “Goodnight Sophia, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight Lydia.” I say and close my eyes.
I wake up covered in pee, I wet myself, mama is going to hurt me again. I need to change the sheets and put these into the wash without her knowing. I quickly jump out of bed and cry out, my leg hurts. I hear a noise; I need to hide. I look around and see the closet. I run and hide in it, hoping that she won’t find me in here. I stay quiet, hoping that I can’t be heard. Suddenly the door is yanked opened. I cower, placing my hands over my head hoping to protect my face from the blows she is about to dish out.
“Sophia, it’s me, Steven, I won’t hurt you. Listen, Sophia, calm down, I won’t hurt you. LYDIA!!” I look up, it all comes flooding back, I’m not at home, I’m with Lydia and Steven.
“That’s right Sophia, it’s just me, Steven, and you’re safe now.”
I see Lydia running into the room, she looks at me and starts crying. She comes to me and I scoot back, I don’t want her to touch me, she will know I messed up her nice bed. She looks to Steven who just shakes his head and she leaves.
“Are you okay Sophia?”
I look at him, I need to tell someone, I need to get clean, “I had an accident, I didn’t mean to.”
“It’s okay Sophia, I’ll clean it up. Shall I get Lydia to help you get washed?” I’m shaking my head.
“NO!” I didn’t mean to shout at him, I didn’t want Lydia to come back.
“Okay Sophia, just please don’t get upset. Why are you so sad?” I look into his eyes.
“I don’t want to be hit again for wetting the bed.” He looks sad now.
“Sophia, did you think Lydia would have hurt you?” He asks sadly.
I swallow and look to the floor. “Yes.” He reaches in and does something nobody has ever done, he hugs me. “Oh Sophia, Lydia would never hurt you, she just wants you to be okay.”
I pull back from the memory, realizing how far we have come.
Steven spoke to me that morning asking me about my Mama. He asked where she lived and what her name was, I told him I didn’t know where we lived, that it was full of drugs,