Cracking Up Read Free

deadbolt and spyhole because it was the kind of place where you never knew who would come crashing through the door at any time, the burglars or the bizzies. One of the birds saw me coming and gave me a big smile. “Hiya, Ow-wee! You all right, babe?”
    She saw my cauliflower ear and threw her hands up to her face. “Oh my God! What happened to you? You look like you’ve been in with Mike Tyson.”
    Her name was Tiffany and she was on to me in a big way, offering an icy compress if I’d come sit on her sofa and keep her company. She was a loose woman with a reputation for accosting men on the estate. She had a fit body, big tits but a face like a potato with the mangies. “Nice one, T,” I said.
    I followed her into the flat and sat down on her couch. She went into the kitchen and put a little twist in her hips because she knew I was looking. When she came back, she slumped down besides me, doing the necessaries with the icy compress and flirting with me big-style, coming on all fresh and fruity completely distracting me from my aching wingnut.
    She was like a bitch on heat, engaging me in a bit of saucy chat and projecting the come on vibe. She leaned forward exposing her cleavage, started to neck me in a dead passionate way and I could feel a stiffie coming on. She was rubbing my crotch and declaring she was going to rattle my cage. There was nothing for it; I didn’t want her to think I was bent, did I?
    I followed her into the bedroom, feeling mad horny and we both stripped off. We began a rampant mess about, getting to grips with a session of heavy petting, fumbling and tweaking under the covers. I sucked her nipples and they were so hard I could’ve dialled a phone with them. Not only were her nipples rock hard but my cock was too; I slipped a rubber johnny on the end of it and got on top. She spread her legs and opened her gash, guiding my tool into her damp patch. I started off with a slow gentle grind because I didn’t want to blow my beans too soon. She was panting porno-style and scratching my back with her cat claws. I sucked her nipples, they were stuck up like two babies bottle teats. She told me to fuck her harder, then came and wriggled like she’d had an electric shock, as I shifted up a gear or two and finished off with a frenzy of groaning and slapping, thrusting and grunting until I reached the vinegar stroke.
    I thought she’d actually fancied me and my ego smarted when she demanded money. I hadn’t fully realized that the dirty slag was a working brass and expected her to turn nasty when I explained that I was brassic. Luckily, she had a big cheesy grin on her kipper when I offered a rock of the crack as payment instead. Oh well, it had been a good screw!
    She snatched the crack out of my hand quicker than the human eye. “Nice one, babe. Top one!”
    She was still bare-arsed naked but, in her hurry to get blasted, reached into her bedside draw and pulled out a little glass pipe while I was putting my clothes back on. I watched with a sideways glance as she burnt some wire wool, then stuffed it into the pipe. She quickly crumbled her prize in the middle of it and kept the lighter on it, all the while inhaling, sucking it down deeply. The crack was like being wired into the National Grid. The rush she was getting was massive, like a tsunami of electricity buzzing through her veins replacing removed blood. “Wow! Fuck me! That’s fucking nice.”
    The crack would make her feel fucking fantastic for fifteen minutes until the dreaded comedown. Her eyes were as big as fifty pence pieces, as she whizzed her tits off, having to hold herself up against the wall to steady herself. “Woo hoo!”
    I had just finished putting the Adidas on my feet, but she was gagging for more and turned all sketchy on me all of a sudden: “That was fucking ace, babe! I need another toot.”
    I got the message loud and clear, she was cracked to the max and in the mood for a freebie session but all I wanted now was