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let out a scream that I wouldn’t describe as
masculine and tossed the pig as far across the room as he could. 
    “Not
cool, Paige!  I have a phobia that I told you about in confidence, and
then you turn around and use that information to torture me?”  He let out
an exasperated huff and ran his hands through his messy hair.  “Seriously,
you owe me an apology.”
    My face
must have been a scarlet red by this point.  “I owe YOU an apology?!
You?!  I was musically assaulted by a ZOMBIE CLOWN!!  That just
happens to be MY phobia.  What do you not understand about that?”  I
started pacing the living room to keep myself from continuing my former assault.
    It was
obvious Alex was trying to contain his laughter.  “Number one, I didn’t
know you had a phobia of zombie clowns and number two, the clown wasn’t
intended for you and number three, it was funny.”  He chuckled. “I can’t
be blamed.”
    I threw
my arms up in defeat. “Fine.  If you three want to argue over the stupid
zombies again, that’s fine.  Just leave me out of it this time.”
    “So,
why the fear of pigs, Alex?” David interjected.
    Alex
shuddered and sat back down in his chair.  He sighed and then explained
his traumatic story of being chased by a pig while visiting his uncle’s farm
when he was a kid.  One of the pigs had escaped its pen and for some
reason it had a strange attraction to Alex.  Alex apparently ran from the
animal for a half hour straight before someone finally came out and saw what
was going on.  They thought it was the funniest thing in the world because
they had never seen a pig chase someone like that before.  Alex was never
the same after that incident.
    When
Alex was finished recanting his traumatic tale, David and Annie were
silent.  Within seconds they burst out in coordinated laughter and tears
ran down their faces from the force of it.
    “Shut
up guys!  It’s not funny!  I’d like to see what either of you would
do if you were chased by a rabid pig!”  They laughed harder and started
clutching their sides from the cramping.
    I
started back towards my bedroom and shouted to them over my shoulder. “Well,
this has been a good talk guys, really, but I need to get a shower and get
ready to go.”  I walked in my room and locked the door behind me.  I
was sweaty from my earlier stakeout and needed to rinse myself off.  Even
with air conditioning, a parked car in Florida can feel like an oven.  I
stripped off my shirt, jeans and underwear and then turned on the water. 
While I waited for that to heat, I reached in my closet and pulled out some
clothes to wear to the club.
    When
steam started billowing out from the bathroom, I jumped into the shower. 
My muscles immediately relaxed on contact with the hot water.  My shoulders
dropped and an automatic sigh escaped my lips.  I stood there for a few
minutes enjoying the instant relaxation and then grabbed the shampoo.  I
lathered up my hair and was turning around to rinse.
    “Hey
Paige.”
    The
sound of my name caused me to jump five feet into the air and I had to grab
onto the shower head to keep from falling.  My eyes had involuntarily
opened while I was keeping myself upright and the soap burned like acid in my
eyes.
    “Sonofabitch!” 
I turned my face into the spray and rubbed at my face to get the soap
off.  “What the hell David?!  I’m naked in here!  What are you
doing in my bathroom and how did you unlock my door?!”
    “Take a
valium Paige.  You have nothing I haven’t seen before.  And those
locks on your doors are worthless, they can be opened with a wire hanger in no
time.”
    Mental
note:  buy key locks for my bedroom door .
    I
pulled the curtain aside and glared at the sneaky intruder.  “What do you
mean you’ve seen a naked woman before?  You’re gay.”
    David
chuckled.  “Well, yeah, I’m gay.  But I had a ‘straight-curious’
moment in high school that didn’t work out.  The boobs on that girl