Clever is as Clever Does (The Clever Detective) Read Free

loved watching him pound nails, all bare-chested and sweaty in the sun.
    He gave me a surly look. “I hear you’ve come to talk to me about my relatives.”
    Huh? “How’d you hear that?”
    He pointed to a pine branch with a blue jay sitting on. “A little birdie told me.”
    The bird rolled its eyes and its little cheeks went red. Guess Bubba meant that literally.
    I turned back to the builder. “You’re right. What do you know about the Murderati gang?”
    He lifted a shoulder. “Not much.”
    “How are you related to them?”
    “Distantly. Very distantly. The Rind side of the family.”
    Okay. “When was the last time you talked to them?”
    “Heck, I don’t know.”
    What was he hiding? “You can’t tell me where they hang out?”
    “How should I know that? I’m a respectable business man. I don’t have dealings with gangs.”
    “You never see them? What about family reunions?”
    He just grimaced and shook his head.
    I rocked back on my heels a moment. “You know, Bubba, withholding information in a murder investigation is a criminal offense.”
    He raised a cloven hoof and shook it at me. “Now look here, Missy --”
    That was when the roar of a motor rang out. We turned toward the hill just as the gleam of chrome handlebars rose over the crest, and three pink creatures in black leather and chains rolled toward us on -- what else? -- hogs.
    We stood in silence as they neared, and I saw they were smaller, even less appealing versions of the Slates.
    Hunched over their lowriders, snouts sniffing the air, they revved their engines, and started to slowly circle us. Sharp teeth stuck up over their jowls. Their black leather jackets had “Pigs Rule” etched on the back. There were three of them. Why did swine always come in threes around here?
    “Get out of here, Deke,” Bubba growled at the one who appeared to be the leader. “And take Dakota and Dante with you.”
    “Hey man, it’s a free kingdom,” Deke sneered. “You can’t tell us what to do.” He sounded like a snotty teenager.
    “I said, get lost. We don’t want your kind around here.”
    “What’s a matter, Unk?” cried the second one. “We scarin’ you?”
    I glared at Bubba. “Unk?”
    He held up his hooves. “They’re my sister’s kids. She’s always been a wild one. They didn’t turn out any better.”
    Never trust the word of a pig. I turned to the piglets. The circling and the grinding of the motors was getting on my last nerve. “Is this what you did to Snow White? Harass her like this?”
    “Maybe,” the smallest one, Dante, snorted. “She didn’t like it, either.”
    “Yeah,” the second one, Dakota, giggled. “We drove her crazy.”
    I bet. “You know she’s dead.”
    “No, she’s not.”
    Chad had had enough. Stepping in front of Deke’s cycle, he grabbed the handlebars with his bare hands. “Halt!” Gosh, he made my heart fluttered when he did things like that. If only he didn’t have such a wandering eye for the ladies.
    The piglet cowered up at him. His two brothers nearly collided into each other as they came to a grinding stop.
    “Who are you?” Deke wanted to know.
    “Your sovereign.”
    The piglets’ mouths dropped to their drive trains.
    With as an authoritative air as I could muster, I strode toward them. “What did you have to do with Snow White’s murder?”
    They all looked at each other in terror. “Is she really dead?”
    Deke gave Dakota a shove. “I told you you shouldn’t have threatened her, dude.”
    “Hey, man. It was your idea.”
    “No way.”
    “Who’s idea was the apple?” I demanded.
    “Wha-what apple?” Dante blubbered.
    “She was poisoned with an apple.”
    Deke folded his hooves across his chest. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, man.”
    Chad leaned toward him with a growl. He looked so fierce, he made my blood dance in my veins. “Perhaps if I took you to my father’s dungeon, you’d be more forthcoming.”
    The piglet let out an