Clever is as Clever Does (The Clever Detective) Read Free Page A

ear-piercing squeal that was worse than the motor revving. “Not the dungeon. We didn’t do it, honest.”
    “It wasn’t us,” blubbered Dante. “It was that witch.”
    “What witch?” I asked.
    “You know. The Queen. Her stepmother.”
    Ah hah. I knew there was a stepmother in this somewhere. “How do you know she did it?”
    “We were cruisin’ the far side of the kingdom a couple days ago where she lives,” Deke shrugged. “Somebody said she was cooking up a poison apple for Snow.”
    Dakota snorted. “Yeah. Her castle’s way gnarly.”
    I narrowed my eyes at the piglets. “Did any of you see her cooking this apple?”
    They shook their heads.
    “How about an old woman in a black cape heading for the drawfs’ cottage? Did you see that?”
    “No.”
    I exhaled impatiently. “Why would Snow White’s stepmother poison her?”
    Deke rolled his eyes. “You know. Jealousy. The stepmother thinks she’s all that.”
    “Yeah, she hates Snow. She’s always had it in for her.”
    “Do you believe them?” Chad whispered to me. His face was riddled with doubt.
    I put my mouth to his ear. “Do you think these piglets are innovative enough to murder someone with poison?”
    “Good point.”
    “Time for a trip to that castle.”
    His face hardened. “Very well.”
    I turned back to Deke and stuck a finger in his face. “Don’t leave town. Don’t any of you pigs leave town.”
    They all nodded vigorously and gave me a salute. “Aye, aye.”
    Dante looked like he might faint. “No way, man.”
    I turned back to Bubba. “These kids might shape up with a little discipline.”
    After giving me a scowl, he scratched at the hair on his chin as if he thought that might be a good idea.

Chapter Four
     
    It was late afternoon when we got to the other side of the kingdom and I was worried.
    “What kind of system of jurisprudence do you have around here?” I asked Chad.
    “Do you mean the courts?”
    “Yes.”
    “An excellent one, if I do say so myself. We have magistrates and judges elected by the town council. Every two years we –”
    “What kind of evidence do you need to convict someone of a crime?”
    Now he saw where I was going. “Good evidence. You have to prove your case.”
    Just like in my world. Guess things didn’t come easy, no matter where you were. Even if I could get to this stepmother, all I had was a rumor about the apple and how she hated her stepdaughter.
    Chad stopped walking and pointed ahead. “We’re here.”
    Just before us rose a tall, gray castle with dark inky towers and turrets, and a murky cloud rising out of the mist that made my blood run cold. Not exactly a place for a party.
    Surrounding the castle was a wide moat. The drawbridge was up. On the rampart, I could see well-armed guards marching back and forth. “I don’t think they’re going to break out the red carpet for us.”
    “Probably not.”
    I gestured toward the structure. “How do we get in there?” The two of us trying to storm the place would have about as much impact as a Wet Noodle Posse.
    Chad rubbed his chin for a moment. “There might be another entrance around the back.”
    “Let’s check it out.”
    We made our way toward the rear of the fortress, fighting through rubble and rock. The structure seemed to go on forever, but at last we came to a clearing. As we neared it, we heard music.
    We took shelter behind a couple of large boulders. Peeking over one, I saw a large, manicured courtyard edged with flowery trees and thick bushes.
    In middle of the yard was a grassy patch. On a large mat, a short woman was prancing around in time to the music, which I could now see was coming from a CD player.
    She had on a tight pink exercise outfit, with platinum hair piled a mile high on her head and flowing down her back like Niagara Falls. Big pink loops dangled from her earlobes. With a figure that would give Dolly Parton an inferiority complex, she was gyrating around and doing karate moves in time to