get through this.”
“I know.”
“And if anything…happens…to you…”
I hugged my mother, her tears warm on my neck.
“I know, Mom. I know.”
After a few deep sobs, Mom stiffened. She held me at arm’s length, her face hard and set. The face she wore as a cop, de cades ago.
“Don’t try to arrest her this time, Jacqueline. When you have the chance, send her to hell where she belongs.”
I nodded, but I didn’t really want to think about that right now. What I had to say next didn’t come easy.
“Mom…I need you to go away for a while.”
Instead of showing anger, Mom smiled.
“I’ve already booked a cruise. Two weeks in Alaska. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Color me surprised.
“Really? I thought I’d have to threaten you.”
“It doesn’t make sense for both of us to be worried about each other. Alex won’t be able to get me while I’m on a boat. And seeing glaciers and polar bears will help me forget that my daughter is hunting a maniac.”
“It will?”
Mom shook her head sadly.
“No. You’d better come back to me, young lady. Don’t make me strap on my gun and put her in the ground myself.”
Again I faced an internal battle to hold back the tears.
“I’ll be fine,” I managed.
“I assume Harry’s going with you.”
“Probably not.”
“You need help, Jacqueline. Someone to watch your back.”
“Harry is a…” My mind searched for a softer word than shithead. “…he’s difficult to work with.”
“He’s an obnoxious pig, and I say that knowing he might be my son. But he cares about you in his way, and you can use him.”
“Going on the road with Harry McGlade…I think I’d rather dance at a strip club for sex offenders.”
“You need someone. Herb won’t be any good to you with his bad leg. How about that other fellow who helped us? Phineas Troutt?”
“This isn’t his fight, Mom.”
“Alex seemed just as eager to kill him as she did us. Call him.”
“If you want me to.”
“Pinky swear.”
“Jesus, Mom. I’m forty-seven years old.”
She held up a gnarled pinky. I hooked mine around it.
“Fine. I pinky swear.”
Mom stared at the grave for another minute, said goodbye to Latham under her breath, then turned to leave.
“I’m going to Shirley’s. Your partner said he’d give me a ride. You sure you don’t want to come?”
Latham’s cousin was having a reception at his house following the funeral. Mom was invited. I wasn’t. I considered going anyway, weighing the pros and cons of being spat on by his family and friends. Much as I deserved it, I’d be a disruptive presence.
“I need to be alone for a little bit. If I don’t see you, have fun on your cruise.”
“I intend to. I’m hoping I’ll meet a nice man. Those tiny little cabins are much cozier when you’re sharing a bed.”
Mom winked, and touched my cheek. Then she headed back into the throng of mourners, which had now dwindled to only a few. I silently wished for someone, anyone, to come up to me and blame me for Latham’s death. Call me names. Even throw a punch. I was prepared not to defend myself.
Except for a few sour looks cast in my direction, I was ignored. I faced Latham again.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled for the thousandth time.
I tried to get my lips to say goodbye, as my mother had done. They refused. I wasn’t ready to let go just yet. So I simply stood there and stared.
After a while, the grave digger came by with a backhoe and began filling in the dirt. Methodical. Disinterested. The elaborate ceremony of death, meant to offer comfort to loved ones, reduced to menial labor. I watched, staying put as the drizzle became heavy rain, cold, relentless, and unforgiving.
CHAPTER 4
T HE MAN’S WRINKLES are caked with filth, and the layers of soiled clothing wrapped around his thin body smell of BO, urine, and worse. Alex takes no joy in slitting his throat. She mixes business with plea sure when possible, but for this old crazy bum it’s a
“I know.”
“And if anything…happens…to you…”
I hugged my mother, her tears warm on my neck.
“I know, Mom. I know.”
After a few deep sobs, Mom stiffened. She held me at arm’s length, her face hard and set. The face she wore as a cop, de cades ago.
“Don’t try to arrest her this time, Jacqueline. When you have the chance, send her to hell where she belongs.”
I nodded, but I didn’t really want to think about that right now. What I had to say next didn’t come easy.
“Mom…I need you to go away for a while.”
Instead of showing anger, Mom smiled.
“I’ve already booked a cruise. Two weeks in Alaska. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
Color me surprised.
“Really? I thought I’d have to threaten you.”
“It doesn’t make sense for both of us to be worried about each other. Alex won’t be able to get me while I’m on a boat. And seeing glaciers and polar bears will help me forget that my daughter is hunting a maniac.”
“It will?”
Mom shook her head sadly.
“No. You’d better come back to me, young lady. Don’t make me strap on my gun and put her in the ground myself.”
Again I faced an internal battle to hold back the tears.
“I’ll be fine,” I managed.
“I assume Harry’s going with you.”
“Probably not.”
“You need help, Jacqueline. Someone to watch your back.”
“Harry is a…” My mind searched for a softer word than shithead. “…he’s difficult to work with.”
“He’s an obnoxious pig, and I say that knowing he might be my son. But he cares about you in his way, and you can use him.”
“Going on the road with Harry McGlade…I think I’d rather dance at a strip club for sex offenders.”
“You need someone. Herb won’t be any good to you with his bad leg. How about that other fellow who helped us? Phineas Troutt?”
“This isn’t his fight, Mom.”
“Alex seemed just as eager to kill him as she did us. Call him.”
“If you want me to.”
“Pinky swear.”
“Jesus, Mom. I’m forty-seven years old.”
She held up a gnarled pinky. I hooked mine around it.
“Fine. I pinky swear.”
Mom stared at the grave for another minute, said goodbye to Latham under her breath, then turned to leave.
“I’m going to Shirley’s. Your partner said he’d give me a ride. You sure you don’t want to come?”
Latham’s cousin was having a reception at his house following the funeral. Mom was invited. I wasn’t. I considered going anyway, weighing the pros and cons of being spat on by his family and friends. Much as I deserved it, I’d be a disruptive presence.
“I need to be alone for a little bit. If I don’t see you, have fun on your cruise.”
“I intend to. I’m hoping I’ll meet a nice man. Those tiny little cabins are much cozier when you’re sharing a bed.”
Mom winked, and touched my cheek. Then she headed back into the throng of mourners, which had now dwindled to only a few. I silently wished for someone, anyone, to come up to me and blame me for Latham’s death. Call me names. Even throw a punch. I was prepared not to defend myself.
Except for a few sour looks cast in my direction, I was ignored. I faced Latham again.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled for the thousandth time.
I tried to get my lips to say goodbye, as my mother had done. They refused. I wasn’t ready to let go just yet. So I simply stood there and stared.
After a while, the grave digger came by with a backhoe and began filling in the dirt. Methodical. Disinterested. The elaborate ceremony of death, meant to offer comfort to loved ones, reduced to menial labor. I watched, staying put as the drizzle became heavy rain, cold, relentless, and unforgiving.
CHAPTER 4
T HE MAN’S WRINKLES are caked with filth, and the layers of soiled clothing wrapped around his thin body smell of BO, urine, and worse. Alex takes no joy in slitting his throat. She mixes business with plea sure when possible, but for this old crazy bum it’s a
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