Carpe Diem Read Free

should be here in a few hours.”
    “Does she know? Did he tell her?” I ask, hoping that my baby girl would have a few more hours of ignorance.
    “Yes, Flynn had to tell her. You know, Bryna, there is no way she was getting in that car until she knew what was wrong.”
    “I know,” I say, letting my first smile since this morning form, “She is so headstrong, just like Jack is, was,” I respond, fighting my tears.
    “I’ve called everyone I can think and Jack’s mom will be here tomorrow. I will pick her up at the airport about two o’clock,” Abby tells me.
    “Mom and Dad stopped by while you were asleep. Mom wanted to stay until you woke up, but I told her to go home with Dad,” Casey says, interrupting Abby.
    I love my parents, but right now I’m so glad they are not here. I do not need a house full of people watching me and asking me if I need anything five hundred times an hour. Abby and Casey know me and know that I have never dealt with all eyes on me attention very well.
    “What did you guys make for dinner?” I ask as I feel my stomach yelling at me.
    “We made some spaghetti. It was easy and fast,” Abby tells me as she stands up and moves toward the kitchen.
    “Do you want to eat at the table or in here?” Casey asks me.
    I am not sure why I do not answer her as I toss the blanket off my legs and walk toward the dining room table. It is as if my legs feel like they weigh a ton, but I keep walking, determined not to let my grief take over completely.
    The next few hours waiting for Bryna was filled with Casey and Abby tiptoeing around from random topic to yet an even more random topic, never landing on anything too serious. It is not hard to tell that they are unsure what to do or how to act right now. This is the first time anyone of us has had to deal with something like this.
    They had already made all the necessary calls while I was sleeping and until tomorrow when the funeral home opens, there is not much to do but avoid the subject and pretend everything is fine. I wander back and forth from staring at the wall to listening to them ramble on about movies coming out, cat videos that have seen, and still debating the hotness of Johnny Depp. Time seems to move so slowly and yet so fast all at the same time.
    As I fade in and out, I picture Jack sitting next to me smiling and amused. I wonder what we would be doing right now. Would we be sitting down for dinner, would we be in front of the TV watching Netflix? I try not to let myself fall into the fantasy, but it pulls at me.
    “How do you greet a widow when she gets up? Good morning,” Jack says
    “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” I tell him hitting him in the arm and smiling.
    “Got you to smile didn’t I?” Jack teases.
    “Only because I felt bad for you, not because it was funny,” I tease back
    “You can do this,” he tells me with a smile
    “I can do what?” I ask
    “You can do this,” he tells me again.
    “I can do what? I don’t understand.” I ask again.
    “I love you, you can do this. You can be strong, be strong for me,” he tells me and kisses me on the cheek.
    Those words push me back into reality, back to Abby and Casey, back to where Jack is gone. I think of him and the words my mind told me he would say and I feel the strength building inside me. I can do this. I can be strong.
    “Okay!” I shout, scaring both of them.
    I stand from the table and head toward Jack’s office. I grab a legal pad and a pen from his desk and walk back to the table. Tossing the items down, I walk past Casey and Abby and into the kitchen where I grab three glasses and a bottle of wine.
    “We are going to make a list of all the things I have to do tomorrow and then we are going to make a list of all our favorite things we love about Jack. We are going to drink, we are going to cry, we are going to laugh, and cry some more,” I demand.
    Casey and Abby look at each other and then back to me, jaws to the