Caelen's Wife: Book One - A Murmur of Providence (Clan McDunnah Series 1) Read Free

she liked him well enough he supposed. But in the end, he knew she did not truly love him. And why would she? If ever there was an unlovable man on God’s earth, ’twas Caelen McDunnah.
    He hadn’t always been so dark, so angry. Nay, that all came after Fiona’s death. ’Twas the guilt, he reckoned. The overwhelming sense that her death and their son’s, was entirely hisfault. ’Twas the guilt that had turned him into the heartless bastard he had become. Had he been there for Fiona, instead of off fighting against an enemy he could not now remember, he could have done something, anything, including bargaining with the devil himself, to have prevented her death. He would have spent the rest of his life trying to win her heart.
    Ye canna change the past, Caelen. He grunted as he took another sip of whisky. But ye can get good and drunk.
    Nay, he could not change the past any more than he could pull the moon from the sky or change his future.
    ’Twas of his own doing, he supposed, as he poured more whisky into his cup. His own doing as well as the man whose blood ran through his veins. He was Nerbert McDunnah’s son — may he find the peace in death that he could not find in life. Or may he rot in hell. It mattered not to Caelen, and in the end, he supposed he didn’t have much to say in the matter. ’Twas all God’s choosing, not his.
    And God had chosen to give him Nerbert McDunnah as a father. Not exactly the best example on how to be a man, husband, or father. For that matter, a leader of people. Nerbert was cold and distant toward his wife and children and he had run his clan with a stern and hypocritical hand.
    How Caelen’s mum had stayed married to the man as long as she had, without slicing his throat in his sleep, remained a mystery. Never a sweeter woman had graced God’s earth and she was married to the likes of Nerbert.
    As a child, Caelen had made a promise to himself that he’d not replicate his father’s behavior. He had vowed to be a generous, kind husband and father and if ever he were made chief he would treat his clanspeople with far more respect and generosity than his father ever had.
    But something had happened between childhood and becoming an adult. What exactly that something was, Caelen didn’t know. Aye, he had been generous with Fiona, the sweet, auburn-haired lass, but mayhap, just being generous wasn’t enough. He’d been generous with possessions, not with his time.
    Secretly, he wished for the love and comfort of a wife. Someone he could simply talk to and mayhap with whom he could share a dream or two. A kind, sweet woman who could help him rid the guilt he carried like an anvil around his neck, making him tired and angry.
    It had been impossible for him to move forward, to take another wife and try again for another child. Guilt over failing his sweet Fiona and their son had prevented any forward movement as it pertained to his heart. Nay, he’d never marry again. He was certain. He would never allow himself to fail another human being as he had failed them.
    In the end, he supposed, none of it really mattered. Now he was a lonely man, who was becoming more bitter as the years wore on. There was, he reckoned, no hope for him.
    Ye bloody bastard.

Chapter 2
    ’ T was well after the midnight hour when three clan chiefs sat in a well appointed study next to a roaring fire. They sipped on fine whisky and exchanged stories they’d all heard countless times before.
    Whilst two of the three told bawdy tales and exaggerated stories of battle, one sat quietly, lost in his own thoughts as he attempted to find a way out of his current predicament.
    The proposals were getting out of control. Everything was getting out of control. He really needed to give up these meetings with the McGregor and the McKenzie. At the very least he shouldn’t drink as much when he was with these men who gossiped and lied to the point of hilarity.
    Months ago, on a night much like this one, he had shared