Bream Gives Me Hiccups Read Free

their name, maybe they do have the best yogurt.
    Mom also let me take a friend and I chose Matt, who now likes to be called Matthew. Mom always calls Matthew my “little friend,” which seems strange because Matthew’s taller than me. He’s also taller than Mom and I think she doesn’t like him, but I think that’s just because Matthew and I have a good friendship and Mom doesn’t have any real friendshipsand Dad hates her and he said so in front of me two separate times before he left.
    When I asked if we could pick up Matthew on the way to TCBY, Mom sighed loudly and said, “It would be easier for everyone involved if he just met us there.” I thought it was a strange thing to say because the only people involved were us and Matthew and he lives on the way to TCBY. But I didn’t argue and Matthew rode his bike and met us in the parking lot.
    When Mom and I saw Matthew, he ran up to us and gave us both a hug, which is something Matthew has started doing a lot. I like it because I like when people hug me, but Mom kind of pulled back because she’s not used to people touching her because no one ever does.
    TCBY has a lot of flavor options, which makes me think they’re really trying hard to be the best. I wanted Mom and Matthew to think that I made a good choice in going to TCBY so I said, “Wow, look at how many different flavors they have,” and then Mom said in a sarcastic voice, “Thou doth protest too much, TCBY!” and Matthew and I looked at each other like we were trying not to laugh because what Mom said made no sense.
    Matthew ordered a Mountain Blackberry Yogurt. He said that he got it because it’s the most interesting color, which is a kind of light purple, but which Matthew called “mauve.” “Mauve” is a word I never heard before and hearing new words is one of the reasons I like Matthew. When I asked why he didn’t get the flavor he liked the most, he said he thought that all the flavors probably tasted the same and so it was bestto get something that was “pretty to look at.” Mom rolled her eyes two times: when Matthew said “mauve” and when Matthew said “pretty to look at.”
    The woman behind the counter asked Matthew what he wanted for toppings and he said Blueberries and Cherries. And then the woman said, “You just want two fruits?” Then Mom said, “Yup! Two fruits for my two little fruits!” And then Mom laughed in a cackling way that made everyone uncomfortable. When Mom finally stopped laughing, she said, “Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself,” and then we felt uncomfortable again.
    When the woman asked me what I wanted, I decided to get the same thing as Matthew because he thought about his order in such an interesting way.
    Mom ordered a cup of Dutch Chocolate Yogurt and asked if the chocolate was really shipped in from the Netherlands. The girl said she didn’t know but that she could check. Then Mom told her not to bother and said that she’d get a cup of Dutch Chocolate because it’s “so decadent.” But I could tell by the way that Mom asked about the Netherlands and how she said “so decadent” that she was making fun of TCBY for being not fancy, but the girl behind the counter didn’t know Mom’s sense of humor so she said something real like, “It’s one of our classic flavors.” And Mom said, “Oh, it sounds like a real classic .”
    When the woman asked if Mom wanted toppings, Mom said, “Oh boy! Where to begin? What does your sommelier think of the Butterfinger Pieces?” But since the woman didn’t realize Mom was making fun of TCBY, she said, “Butterfinger Pieces are really popular.” Mom said, “Oh, I’ll bet,” and laughed again.
    Then Matthew and I looked at each other in a secret way because we thought it was weird how two people could have the same