Bon Bon Voyage Read Free Page A

must drown in an ocean.” Smack had dozed off sprawled across my feet, and my knees were starting to hurt.
    Carolyn snorted. “It just so happens that I cut out an article about exercises one can do in an airplane seat that prevent frozen knees, not to mention those blood clots that scoot up to your brain or lungs and kill you.”
    â€œBlood clots?” That didn’t sound good. “All the more reason for me—”
    â€œAnd at all the ports except those in North Africa, people speak Spanish, even the Canary Islands, which are owned by Spain. Well, on Gibraltar they speak English because—”
    â€œI can see that if I went, you’d want to tell me the history of every damn place the boat stopped.”
    â€œThe guides will do that, and at the Spanish ports you can translate for me ,” Carolyn retorted. “I might even learn some Spanish if you’d take the trouble to teach me. I thought we were friends. I don’t see why—”
    â€œLook, I don’t have a long dress, and I’m not going to buy one, so that’s that.”
    â€œLuz, you don’t have to. Just get a long skirt if you don’t have one. You can find one for ten dollars at Ross. Then you pair it with different tops and some jewelry, and you’re good to go. I know you’ve got some great jewelry. The night we went over to Juárez, I saw your grandmother’s turquoise.”
    â€œMy grandmother’s turquoise isn’t going to keep me from barfing up all the rich food I’d have to eat,” I muttered.
    â€œThe cruise lines provide seasick pills,” said Carolyn, “and I won’t let you fall off the ship and drown.”
    So that’s how it went, and guess who ended up getting talked into taking a cruise? I had to agree. Otherwise, Carolyn would have gone on and on about the history of the Canary Islands. My only consolation was that it would be my first and last cruise. And it wasn’t going to cost me much. Not likely I’d get another offer for a free vacation. But my mom wasn’t going to be happy when I missed Mother’s Day because I was thousands of miles away, wandering around some country with a bunch of Arabs in it.
    Well, if those terrorists tried anything with Carolyn and me, I wouldn’t mind kicking ass. A cousin of mine got about a pound of shrapnel in his leg over there in the Middle East. Poor Jaime’s still limping, and he was a hell of a halfback on the Bowie football team before he joined the army.

3
    â€œNot My Mother-in-Law!”

Carolyn
    I was in such a good mood after talking Luz into going with me that I decided to forgive Jason for ruining the children’s plans and my Mother’s Day gift. I’d make him something nice for dinner. Maybe lamb chops and twice-baked potatoes with both cheese and onions. And asparagus. I’d bought some lovely, thick asparagus at the market. I might even make hollandaise sauce to go on the asparagus. And I’d open a bottle of that French wine he liked, Carolus Magnus. I liked it myself. Who could resist a wine named after Charlemagne? Then, once I had him softened up, I’d tell him he didn’t have to worry about me traveling alone to exotic foreign ports because Luz Vallejo had agreed to go with me. She was an ex-police lieutenant and a very tough woman, probably better protection than Jason, not that I’d mention that.
    I wondered what we’d do about Smack, Luz’s aging, retired police dog. I’d have to ask the cruise people if we could bring the dog along. No, that was a bad idea. What would we do with her on the plane? I certainly had no intention of buying a ticket for Smack and sitting with her all the way to Lisbon. And they probably wouldn’t let Smack into foreign countries or on the boat. Luz would have to leave the dog with one of her sisters, but their children would love it. No one could say Smack wasn’t well behaved.