Bob The Zombie Read Free Page B

to have a long talk with her. I'll meet you guys back at the bunk tonight?" We'd been staying at a bunkhouse on an old cotton plantation. The main house was in ruins, but the bunkhouse had survived, and with minor repairs, had become our home. We even had Dish Network and a big screen TV for playing videogames. Sure, most of our furnishings came from the dump and from garbage left out for collection, but it was home to me and my undead family.
    "We'll wait up for you, brother." I could read between the lines and knew what he was saying. If anything happened to me, my horde would be coming after Griffin and that witch. For the first time, in a long time, I felt like I had true family again. Before this, Face and the guys were my friends, but tonight he proved he was my true brother. Happiness welled up in me and I smiled at my family.
    "I'll be there, no matter what. Horde equals family!" I hollered it louder than I should, but it was true.
    "Horde equals family!" They shouted back.
    "You ready to jet?" Griffin asked me as he approached.
    "Yup, let's head out, Griff." He raised an eyebrow at the nickname, and let it go. I assume other people must call him that and he must be ok with it because I get the feeling he isn't the sort of fellow who backs down to avoid a fight.
    I waved goodbye and headed out the door, following Griffin to his SUV. As I climbed in the blue Expedition, I lost my foot. Not like I slipped, but my foot actually fell off my body and down onto the sidewalk with a plop. I blushed, as much as I can anyway, and bent down to retrieve it, splitting my jeans in the process. It wasn't a tiny little rip either. Nope, it was a full blown, seam splitting rip and it was loud. I was so embarrassed and could only think to joke "Whoops. That's last time I eat Taco Bell that's been in a dumpster for four days." Truthfully I wanted to crawl under the truck and die, but I retrieved my foot, climbed in, stapled it on, and untucked my REO Speedwagon tee-shirt, grateful that it would be long enough to cover the rip. Yeah, I'm an REO fan, deal with it.
    "You want to stop off somewhere and pick up a new pair of jeans?"
    "That might be fun, both of us traipsing through Wal-Mart, terrifying the local gentry. Thanks, but I think I'll be ok."
    "You sure? I know a thrift store for supers. We can run in and grab you a pair..."
    "Really? That'd be great." I beamed him a thanks and we headed off to this super-store of a different sort.
    We pulled up to a storefront in the middle of a row of car dealerships and I carefully exited Griff's car so I didn't split, or lose, anything else.
    "Hiya, Jeannie!" Griffin's whole face lit up as he greeted the woman behind the counter. She was as blue as he was green. I had no clue what sort of creature she might be.
    "Griff! How are you doing, old man?" She had a me rry twinkle in her aqua eyes as she turned them to me. "Who is your friend?"
    "I'm Bob, the zombie. What are you?" So, playing coy is not my strong suit. Then again, I always preferred honesty to trite social rituals. I smiled the second I heard her call him Griff, it's always nice to be right.
    "I'm a mermaid, Bob." She laughed and it's the first time I could ever describe a laugh as tinkling. It reminded me of wind chimes, but not in an annoying way.
    "Cool! You're the first Mer I've met."
    "Well, I hope I do my race justice."
    "So far, so good." I blushed. Of course, I've been dead a long time so when I say blushed, I mean I looked just a tiny bit less green.
    "Pleasure to meet you. How can I help you guys today?"
    "Bob needs a new pair of jeans." I flashed Griffin a smile, thankful that he hadn't gone into detail as to why I needed the new pants.
    "32 waist?" At my nod she led me over to a section of the store that was all men's jeans. She pointed out the section that would fit me best.
    "I don't have long johns on. I can buy a pair to try the jeans on with, if you want." I was so embarrassed. I usually get my clothes from the