like it was cold. I saw a couple of fire department guys trying to help the cops push people back. What scared me the mostâ
Calm. Stay calm.
The worst thing was the way the cops looked as panicky as I was trying not to feel. Cops shouldnât look that way.
âWhat happened?â I asked the first person I came to, a neighbor lady. She just stared with the funniest look, like she was made of wood, like she couldnât hear me. I pushed past her into the crowd, still hopingâI donât know what I was hoping. That it wasnât Aaron, I guess. That some old guy had snuck into his house to throw a heart attack or something.
âWhat happened?â I asked again.
A few heads turned, but nobody answered. For a big crowd, it was so quiet it was weird. All I heard was somebody crying somewhere behind me, and off to the side some guy saying, âThe little kids shouldnât see. They ought to get them out of here.â
I saw the state trooper come out of the house with his face fish-belly pale.
I grabbed the old lawn-mower guy by the arm. âWhat happened ?â
He turned and glared at me, but he said, âKidâs dead. Stabbed to death.â
âWhat? What kid?â My heart was pounding so hard it hurt.
The old guy turned away without answering, but I already knew the answer.
No. It couldnât be. It had to be some other kid. For some reason, somebody had stabbed Aardy, or Nathanâ
But no, I could see Nathan standing in the doorway with his sister hanging onto him sideways, her face hidden behind his back. He acted like he barely knew she was there. His arms hung straight down at his sides. Even at that distance, I could see how white his narrow face was. And I could see dark stains on his T-shirt, like heâd been painting or something.
But it couldnât be Aaron who was dead. It had to be somebody else. Some neighbor kid. Please.
Heads turned as a Volvo swerved into the driveway and stopped. Aaronâs dad got out and ran toward the house, still in his grocerâs apron, with his sleeves rolled up. He must have been at the store when he got the call. The state trooper met him in front of the door.
The crowd was so quiet, I could hear almost every word.
â⦠according to your daughter, Cecily, the body is that of your stepson Aaron. Iâm sorry, sir.â
âHeâs dead ?â Mr. Gingrichâs voice cracked like glass.
Aardy must not have realized her dad was there until she heard his voice. Then she let go of Nathan and darted out the door to her father. One glimpse of her face, and I had to close my eyes.
âYes, sir, he is dead,â said the police officer. âIâm sorryââ
âNo. That canât be.â Mr. Gingrichâs voice. I looked, and saw him patting Aardyâs shoulders as she hugged the rough cloth of his apron, but he barely seemed to know what he was doing. âNathanââ Mr. Gingrich reached toward Nathan, who was standing a few feet away from him inside the front door. But Nathan didnât look like heâd heard.
The trooper edged over to stand between Mr. Gingrich and the door. âIf youâll wait in the cruiserââ
Mr. Gingrich shook his head. âThereâs some kind of mistake.â Pulling away from Aardy, he tried to head into the house. âLet me see him. Let me see.â
I heard Aardy sobbing. I couldnât look at her.
âWe advise against it, sir. We will ask you to identify his clothingââ
âLet me see my son!â
Someone pulled at my elbow. I turned. It was Mom. She didnât say anything, just motioned with her head for me to follow her, and I did. I couldnât handle watching Mr. Gingrich anymore.
A couple of cops were stretching yellow plastic ribbon between the crowd and the house, edging people back, back. Mom led me out of there. At the edge of the crowd, Jamy stood hugging herself and shaking. Her