Beyond the Rising Tide Read Free

to earlier today. At least she’s wised up and put on a wetsuit. I wrap my arms around my waist, trying to squeeze out the jealousy.
    Paige nudges me. “Go out there! If you want him, fight for him!”
    “But I—”
    Paige grabs my elbow and looks me in the face, her big brown eyes offering the steadiness I lack. “You can do it. Just … focus on him, not the water. And besides, the surf is totally mild tonight. Nothing is going to happen.”
    Everyone thinks it’s fear that keeps me from the water. But that’s not it at all. I’ve never been afraid of the water, and I’m not now. My reasons for avoiding the ocean don’t make sense to anyone but me, so I don’t even attempt an explanation. I swallow and give Paige a weak nod, trying to muster up courage.
    Fight for him , I repeat her words in my mind. Fight.
    Dillan leads Paige to the fire, and I kick off my Converse and approach the water as a whirlpool of apprehension churns in my belly. The surf reaches for me and laps at my toes, and I jump back as the chill of the water sends my heart racing and floods my mind with unwanted memories. It takes all my strength to force them out.
    Tyler’s back is turned so he doesn’t see me. It’s Tourist Girl who alerts him to my presence, tugging his arm and pointing me out. He twists around, and when he sees me, his mouth falls open. It’s hard to tell with the fire casting sporadic shadows across his face, but I swear he looks guilty. The girl grabs his arm and pulls him into an oncoming wave. As the wave slams into them, he laughs and she squeals.
    All I can think is how I should be the one with him in the water. I should be the one in his arms. After spending countless days last summer in the ocean together, surfing and swimming and free-diving, how can he so easily forget that I’m the one who belongs there with him?
    The remnants of the wave wash up to shore and stretch toward me. Instead of stepping back, I hold my breath, clench my fists, and step forward.
    Fight.
    I have to show Tyler that I’m brave enough to do this—for him. I let the wave wash over my feet, and it swells until my calves are underwater. As the water recedes, sand loosens under my feet as it’s swept back to sea.
    And that’s when the panic seizes me.
    Every muscle in my body freezes—except my heart, which is hammering so brutally against my chest it might crack a rib. My lungs refuse to expand, and my nails dig into my arm so deeply I’m sure they’re drawing blood. Because to me, the white caps of the waves look like ghosts, the inky shadows beneath the water like silhouetted bodies. The ocean is haunted now, and the saltwater stings my raw guilt like an open wound.
    I want to retreat, but my legs won’t move.
    Tyler’s lips form my name as he sloshes through the water toward me, his face etched with concern. He comes over and curls a wet hand around my arm, tugging me to dry sand. Turning me toward him, he braces his cold hands on my arms. “Are you okay? Geez, Avery. You’re shaking.” Orange firelight illuminates one side of his face, flickering in the water droplets on his skin.
    He’s right. I’m shivering as if it’s twenty degrees outside. I cross my arms and try to still myself. Get a grip, Avery. Get a grip.
    He leans down so his face is closer to mine. Too close. “Take a deep breath. Breathe in—” He demonstrates by inhaling deeply through his nose. I follow his example; then he exhales slowly, and I do the same. “There. That’s it. One more time. In. That’s right. Now out.”
    I feel my body calming, but now I feel a different kind of unease. I glance at the people by the bonfire, and everyone is looking our way. Some of them are whispering to each other.
    “You came,” Tyler says softly, and when I look back at him, his lips are slanted into a sad half-smile. “That’s a big step. But you don’t have to get in the water, okay? Not if you’re not ready.”
    He doesn’t understand. I want to go in