Becoming Sister Wives: The Story of an Unconventional Marriage Read Free

a regular basis, simply because I’m the common denominator—I’m the basic element that my wives and children share. I’m a father to all the children and a husband to all my wives. Despite this, I rarely make unilateral decisions. If asked, I will choose the direction in which the train runs, but my wives are the ones who keep it on the track and running. They are the force behind our family.
    I know the world wants definitions to understand us. They want to know who is the smart wife, who is the homemaker, who is the silly one, who is the mean one. But I won’t let my family be pigeonholed. Our relationships are complex and they are constantly evolving. Ours is a process that elevates us and allows us to abide in God’s presence.
    I have a goal in mind of what my family is supposed to be and look like. It’s supposed to be happy and peaceful and free. I imagine a unity that comes from joy, not from overwhelming sacrifice or pain, anguish, and suffering. I don’t want my family to suffer for the sake of God, because if we are suffering for the sake of God in this life, we may not be happy with Him in the next one.
    Privately we’ve arrived at this unity, this peace, but publicly we are still subject to prejudice. We are misunderstood. We are outsiders. And this is what has brought me here to Beverly Hills. This is why we are about to show our faces to the world and announce that we are polygamous and we are proud!
    I never want my children to live in fear. I never want them to be forced to deny any part of themselves. I want them to live openly as siblings. I don’t know whether my children will enter into the principle. I don’t know whether they will live the life of polygamy. Some will be called to it and others won’t. But regardless of their choices, I want the world to be a more free and understanding place for them to grow up in. I want them to feel safe in their family, and if they choose polygamy for their future, I want them to do so knowing that they will not be treated as second-class citizens. What we do with our bodies and our hearts is the most important choice of all.
    My heart is pounding as I step onto the stage. I can feel the smile plastered on my face. It’s my defense mechanism—this silly grin. There’s a sea of faces in the auditorium. The audienceis silent. I can’t tell what they’re thinking. I feel the smile slip from my face. My heart is in my mouth.
    Suddenly the audience begins to clap. I feel the atmosphere begin to warm. I sense that they are drawn to us. I think they are ready to hear our story.



Chapter One
MERI AND KODY

     
Meri
    I spent the early years of my life living in California with my parents, both of whom were devout followers of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. When I was a baby, my mom had a friend who left the LDS church because she practiced plural marriage. When my mom learned about this, it piqued her interest, and she began studying the principle as well. Soon after, she suggested to my dad that the family move to Utah. He didn’t know her religious reasons at the time, but he said sure, let’s move—though it took them four and a half more years of research and studying the principle before they actually did. We finally moved to Utah when I was five years old.
    It was my mother who urged my father to take his first plural wife. He did, and she joined the family when I was only five, but I still have fond memories of her. Unfortunately, it was a short marriage with no children, and she left two years later. When I was ten, my mom and dad once again brought a new wife into the family. I didn’t think there was anything strange about it—in fact, I was excited. I was a shy kid and didn’t make friends easily. When I found out that the woman my father was courting was from a large polygamous family, I was thrilled to have thechance to get to know a whole new group of people and be able to make more friends. Our family grew quickly.