Attack of the Mutant Underwear

Attack of the Mutant Underwear Read Free Page B

Book: Attack of the Mutant Underwear Read Free
Author: Tom Birdseye
Ads: Link
All my true voice is saying right now is “Ugh!”
    Friday, September 22
    Worked hard on my math today, to show Ms. B that I’m not just average at that, too. When I handed it in, she said, “For homework I’d like you to seriously consider running for student council president. Answer due on Monday.”
    Sunday, September 24
    Been seriously considering running for student council president. Today I ate breakfast thinking about it. Sat in church thinking about it. Walked into Fred Meyer with Mom and Dad and MC to get some teriyaki sauce thinking about it.
    Then, as I was standing in aisle 12, I closed my eyes and imagined the New Me as President Cody. I could be great and accomplish many things for the good of Garfield students. Like a longer morning recess. And chocolate milk shakes in the cafeteria. Or maybe soft drinks in the water fountains. Everyone would love it. And they’d love me, too! And chant my name.
    â€œPresident Cody! President Cody! President Cody!”
    I’d be a superstar!
    â€œPresident Cody! President Cody! President Cody!”
    With lots of friends!
    â€œPresident Cody! President Cody! President Cody!”
    When I opened my eyes, there was MC looking up at me with a cantaloupe in her hands. She said, “Whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t.”
    Ha! Since when do I need advice from a five-year-old? Ms. B knows my destiny—that’s why she suggested it. I’m going to be an ace-brilliant-type- politician -guy! Today Garfield Elementary student council president, tomorrow the White House!
    Hear Ye, Hear Ye! Listen Up, Everybody! I, Cody Lee Carson, am going for the top!
    Monday, September 25
    Well, I did it. I officially nominated myself for Garfield student council president. Only problem is, so did Amy. And Tyler. Not to mention a really smart girl named Kylie in Mrs. Larsen’s class.
    So all of a sudden I’m thinking of lots of reasons why, on second thought, I shouldn’t run for student council president:
    â€”Not qualified
    â€”Overqualified
    â€”Really am a kindergartner in disguise
    â€”Really am a senior citizen in disguise
    â€”Doctor told me not to run
    â€”Parents told me not to run
    â€”Sister told me to go ahead and run, and that’s a bad sign
    â€”Can’t stand failure
    â€”Can’t stand success
    â€”My mind is too tense
    â€”My mind is too relaxed
    â€”My mind is missing, and that’s a bad sign
    â€”Have to quit to save the world
    â€”Have to quit to go to bed
    â€”Not enough time to prepare election day speech
    â€”Too much time to prepare election day speech
    â€”Can’t stop worrying about election day speech, and that’s a really bad sign!
    Tuesday, September 26
    Emerson came up to me today in the hall and told me that I shouldn’t run for president without a campaign manager. “You know,” he said, “a person who helps you get elected. Libby is helping Amy. Zach is helping Tyler. And that girl in Mrs. Larsen’s class, Kylie, has someone helping her, too.” He smiled. “So I thought you might want to think about having a campaign manager, too—like me!”
    â€œYou?” I said. Which was kind of an Old Me thing to do, I guess. But I couldn’t help it. Emerson as anything other than Mr. Junk Food is hard for me to imagine.
    Emerson’s smile dropped straight to the floor. He mumbled, “Okay … well, if you don’t want me, I guess you could … get someone else.” He turned and started to slouch away.
    That’s when I remembered how he gave up his seat for me on the first day of school. And how he is all the time doing nice things for other people, too, like letting Amy and Libby in front of him in line, and giving Zach a Toot-sie Roll, even though Zach isn’t nice to him and calls him Fat Boy.
    And then I thought about how smart Emerson is. And that he probably really could be a big

Similar Books

Bengal's Heart

Lora Leigh

The Rose Conspiracy

Craig Parshall

All of My Love

Francis Ray

Drumsticks

Charlotte Carter

The Other Life

Ellen Meister

Battleworn

Chantelle Taylor

Eye of Vengeance

Jonathon King

The Rogue Hunter

Lynsay Sands